Page 29 of Dance with Me on New Year's Eve

SawyerRox4:Anyway, we should start discussing the player profiles tonight, right? I wrote down a few ideas …

CastGamer55:Yes, we should. But I do want to hear about your rough morning; that’s why I asked. Still, if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine.

SawyerRox4:Oh, trust me, you don’t

CastGamer55:Mindy, I do trust you. As much as I can trust someone I’ve never met, of course. Butyoucan trustmetoo.

My fingers stilled over the keyboard. I couldn’t really tellhim, could I? I never, ever talked to anyone about this. It was bad enough that most people probably guessed I suffered from debilitating shyness and social anxiety; I wasn’t in the habit of confirming it by admitting my shame.

Then again, we were basically anonymous. We knew very little about each other outside of ourCast Afarinterests. What harm could it do?

A lot of harm! Don’t be stupid and lose one of your only “friends.”

But what was the point of having friends if one couldn’t confide in them?

CastGamer55:Mindy, still there? I didn’t mean to pressure you. Sorry.

SawyerRox4:No, it’s OK. You have nothing to apologize for…

SawyerRox4:It’s just not easy to talk about. You see, I’m very shy.

CastGamer55:Oh, really? I wouldn’t have guessed it. You don’t seem shy to me. But there’s nothing wrong with being shy either. My sister used to be a little shy.

SawyerRox4:No, you don’t understand. I’m extremely shy. Like, I go out of my way to avoid social situations because I’m terrified of them. I always decline invites. The few I’ve actually gone to have been a disaster.

CastGamer55:Ah, I see. But I wonder if they werereallya disaster or if that was just your perception.

SawyerRox4:I think they were, but you’re right. It’s hard to say, but either way I end up feeling terrible and regretting even trying :(

CastGamer55:I think I understand. My sister struggled a bit in school at first, kind of like you describe. But eventually she seemed to get more comfortable around people. Now, you’d never know that she used to struggle with that.

SawyerRox4:Wow.

CastGamer55:Honestly, you seem socially adept too. I wouldn’t have guessed that interacting with people is so hard for you. If I’ve ever put pressure on you to talk more than you’d feel comfortable, I am sorry.

SawyerRox4:No, no, you’ve never done that. And I’m actually not that shy online. Sometimes quite the opposite ... it’s weird

SawyerRox4:So anyway, that’s why I felt physically ill this morning. I almost had to actually GO to a party and interact. Thank goodness I looked as sick as I felt, I guess.

CastGamer55:Sorry to hear your morning was so rough. I can’t imagine how hard that must be.

SawyerRox4:So you’re not shy then. Outgoing?

CastGamer55:I wouldn’t say I’m outgoing. I don’t really like talking to people that much, especially not small talk, but it doesn’t scare me. Perhaps I’m just impatient. In any case though, you’re fine as you are, Mindy. You don’t need to be outgoing, and it’s OK if you’re shy.

SawyerRox4:Ah. I wish I believed that …

CastGamer55:Why don’t you?

CastGamer55:Wait, let me guess. Family or friends pressuring you or not accepting you?

SawyerRox4:Yeah. Being shy isn’t OK in my family. It’s seen as rude or weak or something.

CastGamer55:Rude? Hardly. Weak? The exact opposite – you have to be so brave to fight anxiety every day. And being shy or not is like being tall or short. Not better or worse than any other trait.

SawyerRox4:Well, trying telling that to my parents. “Shy” was a bad word in our house … it was like theworstthing I could be

CastGamer55:So, you never felt accepted as you are?

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