“Oh my God.” Realization dawned on his face, horror settling in. “You made a deal. With a demon.”
“Not a demon,” I corrected automatically. “At least, I don't think so. More like...”
“More like what?” Cade pressed, his voice rising.
“I don't know what he is,” I admitted. “But he had your soul, Cade. He's been keeping it since you got out of hell.”
Cade went still, his expression shifting from anger to shock. “Who?”
“His name is Zeryth,” Cassiel answered when I hesitated. “And he's more dangerous than Sean realizes.”
“You knew him?” I turned to Cassiel, fresh anger boiling up. “You knew who had Cade's soul this whole time?”
“I suspected,” Cassiel admitted. “But I wasn't certain until now.”
“Jaysus fecking Christ,” I muttered. “Is there anything else you're keeping from us? Any other life-altering secrets you'd like to share?”
“This isn't about me,” Cassiel deflected. “This is about the deal you made. The runes?—”
“What runes?” Cade interrupted, looking between us in confusion.
“Nothing,” I said quickly, shooting Cassiel a warning look. “It's not important right now.”
“The hell it isn't,” Cade said. “What did you trade, Sean? What did this Zeryth want?”
I swallowed hard. “I did what I had to do.” My voice cracked. “You don't get to be the only one who sacrifices, Cade. You don't get to throw yourself into the fire every damn time and expect me to stand by and watch. Not this time.”
My vision blurred, and I blinked hard. I hadn't realized I was crying until I saw Cade's expression soften, the anger giving way to something more complicated.
“Sean,” he said, quieter now. “What did you do?”
“The runes on my bones,” I explained, the words coming out in a rush. “The ones that bind my Nephilim powers. Zeryth is going to remove them.”
Cade looked to Cassiel for confirmation. The angel nodded grimly.
“And what happens then?” Cade asked. “When these runes are gone?”
“I don't know,” I admitted. “But it doesn't matter. What matters is that we have your soul back. We can deal with everything else after.”
Cade ran a hand through his hair, a gesture so familiar it made my chest ache. “You should have told me,” he said finally. “Should have talked to me first.”
“Would you have agreed?” I challenged.
“No,” Cade admitted. “But that was my choice to make.”
“Not when you're not yourself,” I insisted. “Not when you're missing the very thing that makes you, you.”
Cade looked at the vial in my hand, his expression unreadable. “And you think that little bottle contains everything I am? My essence, my... what? My humanity?”
“It's more than that,” Cassiel interjected. “A soul isn't just emotions or moral judgment. It's memory, experience, growth.”
“And you've been walking around without it for a while now,” I added. “Trust me, Cade. It shows.”
Something flickered across Cade's face, a brief shadow of doubt. I pressed on, sensing a crack in his resolve.
“You've been different,” I said softly. “Cold. Distant. Killing without hesitation or remorse. That's not you, Cade. That's not the man I...” I swallowed, the word 'love' catching in my throat. “That's not the man who's saved countless lives, who's always seen the good in others, even when no one else could.”
Cade's gaze dropped to the floor. “Maybe that man was naive,” he said, but there was less conviction in his voice now. “Maybe he let emotions cloud his judgment.”