Page 58 of Revealing Mark
With a feeling of determination, I went to my room and reached for some clothes, shoving them in a duffel bag. I made sure I still had the note with Sebastian’s number. The urge to get out of my apartment before my brother or Sophie showed up made me pack in a matter of a few minutes.
I closed the door and locked it. Instead of hurrying out the usual way, I decided to go out the back way. There was noguarantee there wasn’t someone watching that exit as well but it was worth a shot.
Feeling emotionally strung out and tired, I checked into a nearby hotel under a false name. It didn’t take long to get a key and when I made it into the room, I dropped the bag in the hallway and headed straight to the bed to curl up into a ball.
All I could think about was Mark and how angry he was. Immature bitch? It was a low blow but I could see, without knowing the truth, he would think I was being unfair. I told myself it didn’t matter what he thought but the truth was his opinion of me mattered, more than it should.
I wanted to believe once I sorted this out that I would have a chance to get my life back to normal even if that normal was different than what it had been before. I hugged the pillow when I thought about my parents. The betrayal was still too raw and deep to be able to think of them without anger.
I didn’t even know if my father knew. Was there a chance he had no idea? I wanted to hope that he had no idea but logically I knew it was probably not the case.
Needing something to eat, I raided the mini fridge. Instead of food I went straight for the alcohol. I needed something to numb the pain. I downed a couple of small bottles. When it warmed my stomach and I felt it seep into my limbs, I lay back down on the bed and drifted off to sleep.
The next morning my mood hadn’t improved. The slight headache from the alcohol only made me more tired and grumpy. I couldn’t hide out in the hotel room forever. I had work to do and I couldn’t keep rescheduling. It would soon impact my income I needed.
But where did I start? I studied the paper that Gabriel had given me with Sebastian’s number. There had been a couple oftimes I had nearly built up the courage to call but I had chickened out at the last minute.
What did I say to a brother I had never met? I had spent hours thinking over it and I couldn’t come up with anything.
I picked up my phone. There were some missed calls from Matthew and Sophie but Mark hadn’t called at all.
A message pinged and I selected it. It was from an unknown number.
Hi Tracy. I know I should wait for you to contact me but I wanted to know how you’re doing? Sebastian.
My lip trembled. I touched the screen. Maybe this was a case of doing it quickly and it would be more painless than trying to do it bit by bit. The message gave me the courage to dial the number and wait for him to answer.
“Tracy,” he answered.
It felt awkward. “Hi.”
What did I say now?
“I hope I didn’t overstep the line when I texted you.”
“No…it’s fine.” I paused.
“I know this has to be a lot for you to process so I don’t want to push you too soon.”
I listened, biting my bottom lip.
“I just thought it might help you to know we can’t wait to meet you.”
It made me feel more emotional, but in a good way. I was wanted.
“But what about your mom?” I whispered. Shouldn’t my existence be a reminder of something she would rather forget?
“My mom has had time to come to terms with what happened and she is just as excited as Cole and I are to meet with you.”
Cole. My other brother.
“You still there?” he prompted when the silence stretched on.
“Yes…yeah. It’s just, I’m not handling this very well.” It was the first time I had someone to talk to about it. I slipped off the bed and walked to look out the window.
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through but it might help if we meet up. You can talk and I can listen.”
I hesitated.
