Page 99 of Revealing Mark
I had an uneasy feeling sitting in the middle of my chest and I couldn’t shake it. I studied him as he pulled the covers over me and tucked me in.
“Promise me you won’t push me away,” I said to him quietly. “I don’t think I could take it.”
He stilled. Letting someone in like this wasn’t something he ever did.
“I won’t,” he promised, leaning over to kiss me briefly on the lips. “Get some sleep and I’ll make sure there’s food when you wake up.”
When he got up to leave, I touched my lips, savoring the kiss he had just given me, feeling—despite his words—that this might be one of our last.
I was too worked up to sleep but I lay on my side andwatched him leave the room. I loved him so much, but he didn’t feel worthy of it and I couldn’t understand why.
Had his parents screwed him up so bad that he couldn’t allow someone to truly love him?
When he came back to check on me, I pretended to be sleeping. The bed sank beside me and I felt his fingers touch my face. It took all my self-control not to open my eyes. Instead, I kept my breathing steady so he wouldn’t suspect I was awake.
For a while he was quiet. I felt his thumb brush lightly over my cheek.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered so softly I barely caught it, “but I can’t change what I’ve done.”
I wanted to argue but I remembered I was pretending to sleep. The emotion was raw in his voice and it touched my heart. He had never been vocal about how he felt about me but hearing him now left me with no doubt he cared, a lot.
There wasn’t anything I could learn about him that would make me let him go. I had loved him for so long and I had never believed he would feel the same. The fact that we were together and we both cared about each other was all I had ever wanted and there was no way I was letting go of that.
For the first time, I had someone to share my life with, the good and bad bits. And I wasn’t going to give that up for anything.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
I was on edge. Despite being sure in my conviction that there was nothing Mark could reveal to me to change how I felt about him, I was anxious.
It had been about a week since his grandfather’s funeral and my brief introduction to his parents. A lot of his mannerisms that I would have questioned before, I now understood. Having the short encounter had made me realize how much “normal” he had missed out on, and I was determined that our own normal would ground him in a way he had never experienced before.
My ribs were better and my stitches had healed nicely but I was still too scared to drive. Logically I hadn’t done anything to cause the accident but the fear in getting behind the wheel of a car was too much to overcome. I had to do something about it but I kept putting it off again and again.
My phone rang and I answered it with a smile when I saw the caller ID. It was Mark.
“Hi,” I breathed, excited.
“You home?” he asked.
“Yeah, why?” I answered. I wondered if I would ever get to astage when his voice wouldn’t set my heart thumping in my chest.
“I’ll be there in ten minutes. Meet me downstairs.”
I agreed and ended the call. What did he have planned? I felt excited that maybe he would be taking me out or something like that. I got my purse and put some lipstick on before wandering downstairs to wait for him.
It was early evening and the streetlights were the only source of light. I checked my watch and then a car pulled up in front of me. It was Mark’s. He got out and greeted me with a kiss to the cheek, which sent my heart racing.
“So, what’s up?” I asked when we didn’t immediately get into his car.
“We’re going out to dinner,” he said. He was dressed smartly in a crisp white shirt, open by the collar. He looked so handsome.
“Okay,” I said, stepping to open the passenger door, but he stopped me.
“No, you’re driving.”
I looked at the car but I couldn’t bring myself to move closer. No. Just no.
I shook my head. “I’m not ready.” The suffocating fear clawed up my throat, making it more difficult to breathe. All I could hear were the sounds of the tires skidding in my memory. Spinning out of control and the pain. Then the waiting and the fear.
