Page 115 of Revealing Mark
“You left me with no choice.” I gave him a one-armed shrug.
“You get ten minutes and then I want you to leave, do you hear me?” he said angrily.
It was all or nothing. I nodded.
He strode back into the building and I followed quickly behind him, struggling to keep up with his strides.
He barely contained his anger until we entered his apartment. He looked down at his watch as he closed the door. “Your time starts now.”
“I know I screwed things up….” I faltered, twisting my hands, very aware of the time restraint.
He looked bored, which made it more difficult to continue.
“I—I didn’t realize what I had done until afterward.” I searched his steel features but there was no chink, nothing. I could have been talking to a brick wall for the lack of reaction.
“And what exactly did you realize, Tracy?” He arched an eyebrow.
“I made a mistake. I’ve never let anyone in like I did with you.” I lifted my shoulders and let them sag. “When you went on the assignment, I was scared something would happen to you. But I should have handled it differently. I realize that now.”
My heart was beating so loudly in my chest, it echoed in my ears.
He looked down at his watch. “And how should you have handled it?” He was checking the time. I felt a panic that I wouldn’t have enough time to get through to him.
“I should have talked to you about it to try and find some common ground, a way forward.” I tucked a hair behind my ear. “I shouldn’t have let you go.” I took a deep breath. “I thought Iwas doing the right thing. Your job is important to you and I didn’t want to make you choose.”
I thought I had said everything but he was still watching me with a hard expression. His jaw twitched. It wasn’t a good sign. Oh, God. I could feel him slipping through my fingers, I was losing him—if I hadn’t lost him already.
“I love you,” I professed, hoping it would sway him in some way, but he didn’t budge.
The realization that none of my words had made the slightest difference was heartbreaking. This had been my last hope but there was no point in dragging out the inevitable.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered, feeling I was on the verge of tears and not wanting to break down in front of him. I dropped my head and walked past him to the door.
When I reached the door, I tried to yank it open but it wouldn’t budge. I tried again. It still wouldn’t open. It was locked.
“Can you open the door, please?” I asked, still not wanting to look back. I wished he would hurry because I wanted nothing more than to get out of there as quickly as possible. I could feel the burn of tears.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
I fought the rise of emotion and I swallowed the painful lump in my throat before I built up the courage to turn around to face Mark.
He was closer, with his hands shoved into the front pockets of his jeans.
“I can’t leave if you won’t unlock the door,” I replied hoarsely, trying the door again. Why was he making this harder?
“I have something I’d like to say,” he said cryptically. I dropped my hand from the door handle.
“Sure,” I murmured. It was only fair.
“I trusted you.” His eyes held mine as I swallowed. Trusted. As in past tense. That ripped something inside my chest. I had well and truly screwed things up between us beyond repair. “And you ran at the first obstacle in our way.”
He wasn’t wrong but it was still hard to hear it. “I’m sorry.” The words felt like they had little impact. “I know it doesn’t sound like much but I really am.” I let out an emotional breath, feeling the sting of tears. I realized I may not get through mynext speech without shedding a few, but I felt I at least owed him the honesty.
“I will always regret what I did but I can’t take it back.” The pain I felt at the loss of him was so strong it winded me. “I’m not an organized person, I’m forgetful, I suck at relationships, but I have never loved anyone as much as I love you.”
I closed my eyes briefly, feeling a tear slide down before I reopened them. His expression was closed off from me. It only reinforced I had already lost him, I had been too late. I hadn’t had a chance at all.
“Did I make a mistake? Yes. And the thing is, if you had been able to forgive me this time, I probably would have screwed things up again at some point.” I couldn’t walk a line where there was no room for that. Was his expectation of me too high for me to live up to? “I’m human, I feel, and I make mistakes.”
