Page 95 of Loving Taylor
My eyes met hers. My heart stuttered for a split second.
All I wanted to do was put my arms around her and hold her close. To allow myself to breathe in her hair and assure myself that despite all my fears and nightmares she was okay. I took a step closer.
The last time I had seen her, I hadn't exactly left on good terms. I had been hurt and angry. She watched me with a reserved look that didn't make me feel very confident. Was she still upset over how things had ended the last time we had spoken? She had every right to be. I had been preparing for this moment since Jeff had found her but I had to admit her cool eyes weren't what I had been expecting.
"Hi," she said. I could tell she was trying to sound like her usual self but she wasn't the same person she had been before. Her ordeal had changed her. The light in her eyes had dimmed. The want for life and experience was now changed to fear and uncertainty.
He hadn't just hurt her physically, he had damaged her emotionally as well. I swore to myself that if I ever had the chance to get him alone I would make him pay dearly for what he had done.
"Hi," I said, stepping closer. I was trying my hardest to be as normal as possible but I felt so nervous and unsure. So much had changed since we had last talked.
"Tay..."
"It's okay," she reassured me. "I'll be fine."
Who was she trying to kid? She wasn't fine, even I could see that. It would take time for her to come to terms with what had happened. And even then there would still be something that would stay with her for the rest of her life.
She shrugged and dropped her gaze to her hands.
"The doctors say everything will heal," she stated, lifting her eyes to meet mine.
I wasn't sure how to handle her. Feeling nervous, I ran a hand through my hair. It didn't help that I was so tired it was difficult to think everything through before it came out of my mouth to ensure it wouldn't upset her.
"I should never have left," I admitted, closing the distance between us with another step.
Her hand twitched and I had an urge to cover it with mine.
"I know why you're here," she stated.
I didn't have a good feeling in the pit of my stomach. I swallowed.
"Really?" I asked, unable to hide my nervousness at how this would play out.
"Yes." She nodded. "It's guilt."
I was feeling guilty but that was not why I was here. The foreboding feeling intensified. I frowned and touched my lip ring with my tongue.
"Guilt?" I questioned.
"Yes. You feel guilty because you left and then something bad happened. You probably think that you could've stopped it, but you wouldn't have been able to. Eric was determined, so determined that he would have left a trail of dead bodies to get me."
She was partly right. I did feel guilty for not being around but that wasn't the reason I was here in her hospital room. I shook my head.
"You probably also feel guilty it was someone you knew. But it doesn't matter."
I remained silent.
"I'm going to tell you what I told everyone else. What happened to me rests solely on the shoulders of the crazy...who did this to me," she stated firmly. She was trying very hard to ease the burden of guilt I carried. Her voice broke slightly and I knew she was struggling to hold it together.
Why was she trying to be so brave? She didn't need to be with me.
"You're right, I do feel guilty. I shouldn't have left and Eric shouldn't have laid one finger on you," I admitted. It was hard to keep the anger from seeping to the surface.
"But that isn't why I'm here," I argued. I took the last step to her and reached for her hand.
Holding her hand in mine sent a swell of emotion through me. There had been so many moments I had feared that I wouldn't see or touch her again. I lifted her hand to drop a gentle kiss on it.
"When I first heard you were gone, I was so terrified..." I closed my eyes briefly to deal with the memory. "We had no idea if you were injured from the accident."
