Page 53 of Loving Taylor
"What happened?" she asked in a whisper.
I had never been tempted to reveal anything about Slater's past on the few occasions I had been asked.
"It isn't my story to tell."
She quieted into a thoughtful silence.
"Did you tell Jordan about all the strange stuff that had been happening?" I asked. It had been bugging me from the time she had revealed the extent to which someone had been stalking her.
She moved onto her back, letting out a heavy sigh like she knew she was in for a lecture. "No."
"Even after the incident with your underwear?" I found myself getting angry that she hadn't confided into her closest friend about what was going on.
She didn't answer.
"Why didn't you tell anyone?" I asked. Any normal girl would have at least told someone. Most would have gone straight to the police. It puzzled me that she hadn't.
"Because at the time I didn't think it was a big deal." Her answer didn't sit well with me. She wasn't telling me the whole truth. But I couldn't come up with a reasonable explanation as to why she would lie. The more I got to know her the more I realized things didn't add up.
"Did you think ignoring it would make it go away?" I asked. The thought that she hadn't taken the threat to her well-being as seriously as she should have only angered me more. She had been irresponsible.
"Hey, I've had a rough day and I don't need you lecturing me on top of everything else," she snapped, sitting up beside me, clutching the sheet to cover her nakedness while she touched her hand to her temple.
My anger dissipated slightly at the sight of her trying to cope with the events of the day.
"I'm sorry. It's just that there is a naivety about you that I've never seen in a person before." But my gut was telling me there was something off about the whole thing. "So naive that I keep worrying that something really bad is going to happen to you.
I paused. "Like not taking drinks from strangers. It's like you haven't experienced anything that most teenagers have and I can't figure out why."
There was a story behind it and I felt compelled by the danger that surrounded her to dig deeper. If I didn't then there was a chance she would continue to do things to endanger herself.
She shifted slightly, fixing her eyes in front of her. It felt like she was distancing herself not only from me but from my questions. She wasn't going to open up to me. The realization hit me hard, opening up an old wound inside me. I swallowed, trying to keep a handle on my emotions.
"You're not going to tell me, are you?" I asked the question already knowing the answer. She wasn't going to reveal to me what had happened in her past to explain her naivety or her lack of experience.
The ache in my chest worsened.
"You're not going to tell me anything, are you?" I asked tightly. "I bared a part of my soul to you, but that doesn't make any difference."
I had promised myself I wouldn't allow anyone to have the power to make me feel the way I was feeling. My anger was directed at myself for allowing this to happen.
I continued to stare at her for a few more seconds, hoping she would change her mind but she didn't. She pulled her knees up to her chest and her eyes met mine. It was all I needed to confirm that she wasn't going to tell me anything.
Feeling angered, I got off the bed and found my jeans on the floor. I pulled them on and faced her.
"I should've known better," I said before I stormed out of the room, leaving her alone in the darkness.
I went downstairs, needing to deal with the building anger that I couldn't seem to control, and I needed space from Taylor. Putting distance between us was the only way to protect myself and allow myself to set up the boundaries that would keep her from getting to me again.
Rubbing my hands over my face, I sat down on the sofa. For once Slater wasn't up and I was relieved he wouldn't see me this worked up over Taylor, since it would be difficult to explain.
Remembering how I had revealed more to her than I had to any other girl only intensified the anger and hurt I was feeling.
You only have yourself to blame,I told myself. If I had stuck to my rules of no virgins and only one-night stands I wouldn't be in this situation. I ran a hand through my hair. Why had I opened up to her? She wasn't the first girl who had questioned me about my past. What had made her different? I wasn't stupid enough to tie sex with feelings. No, it was something else.
Maybe it was because I felt like she had experienced the same type of childhood that I had. One that had repercussions through to adulthood. The death of her parents at a young age would have been devastating but my gut was telling me it was more than just that.
