Page 20 of Loving Taylor

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She closed her eyes when I touched her lips with mine. Her lips moved against mine. I had kissed more girls than I could remember but I had never shared a kiss like this. My tongue swept along the seam of her mouth and she opened her lips.

She tasted so sweet and I had the urge to groan. My lip ring pressed against her lip as I increased the pressure, needing more. Where I was sure in every action as I continued to kiss her, I could feel her inexperience as she responded to me.

It felt so good I couldn't remember why I had been fighting it for so long.

I gathered her in my arms, needing to be closer to her as I caressed her tongue with mine. The tidal wave of want swept through me. I held her like an anchor that kept me from being knocked off my feet. Her arms linked around my neck as I pressed her up against the wall, loving the feel of her against me.

Any reason I had come up with to keep my distance went straight out the window and I nearly gave in to the urge to lift her up and carry her to my bed to do what I had wanted to do from the start.

But the slight taste of alcohol reminded me she wasn't sober. I wanted to ignore it but I couldn't allow myself to take her in the current state she was in. For once I rued the morals I had put into place and refused to budge on.

I pulled myself away from her before I did something I would regret.

She looked dazed and I smirked at the effect I'd had on her. Her lips were slightly red and I had the urge to brush my fingers along them but I was already playing with fire. She was lethal. One taste of her and I was willing to throw away every rule I had ever put into place to keep myself safe.

But like she had already shown me, if I wasn't going to do it she would find someone else who would. I was experienced so I knew I would make her first time good. It wouldn't just be a few minutes of some guy pumping into her before leaving her unsatisfied with a bad view of sex. At least when I left she would know how good it could be.

I was still trying to calm my breathing. Her chest rose and fell just as sharply. The physical chemistry between us was explosive. There was no disputing she still wanted me and I was going to have her.

"Tomorrow night," I told her. I reached out and caressed her cheek with the slight touch of my knuckles.

"You've been drinking tonight, and I want you to be sober," I said. She looked at me with the same innocence I had spotted the first time I had met her. My only consolation in the guilt that I was doing something I had been trying to fight from the beginning was that I was protecting her in some way. Maybe it was only trying to give myself a way of having her and allowing myself to sidestep the guilt I was feeling.

"Go back downstairs and enjoy the rest of the party. Meet me here tomorrow night."

She nodded in agreement. I studied her for a few seconds before I surprised myself by pressing my lips momentarily to her in a brief kiss.

I watched her leave my room with a growing sense of fear that I was getting myself into something I wouldn't be able to walk away from.

For the rest of the party I kept a low profile. It was easier than dealing with curious looks from anyone who had seen me with Taylor. Besides, I also didn't want to have to brush off any advances from other girls. There was only one girl on my mind and she was the only one I wanted. And if I was entirely honest with myself, it was the reason no other girl had held any appeal lately.

You can work her out of your system, I told myself. I rolled my shoulders, feeling the tension in them. I could keep lying to myself but I already had a feeling that this thing with Taylor wouldn't be the same as the others before her.

Despite the fear, I couldn't walk away. I was going to go through with it and hope afterward I could carry on like I had before.

Much later when everyone had left I went downstairs. Slater was busy cleaning up. He dumped the plastic cups in the trash bag. When he noticed me, he stopped and straightened up.

"You need a hand?" I asked. He nodded.

We had never had a disagreement before and my odd behavior over Taylor was foreign. I picked up a few empty cups and discarded them into the bag he held out to me.

"So are you going to tell me what happened earlier?" he asked softly.

There was no ignoring that something had changed even if I couldn't quite figure out what that meant.

"There's something different about her." I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling agitated by having to put into words what was going on inside.

He watched me tentatively.

"I don't know what it is or why," I added, feeling the need to explain as much as I could to him.

Our friendship was more important to me than anything else and I owed him an explanation.

"All I know is that I won't share her." I held his unwavering gaze. He gave me a slight inclination of his head.

"I won't touch her." They were simple words but I knew he would stand by them.

In comfortable silence we cleaned up the rest of the house.