Page 106 of Loving Taylor
Chapter Thirty
She liftedherself onto her tiptoes and kissed me, taking me by surprise. I was still trying to recover when she stopped and looked up at me. I was still so unsure of what was happening. Did that mean she was going to forgive me?
I was too scared to allow myself to rush to a conclusion, the devastation of being wrong would be too difficult to cope with, so I stayed still.
"I love you," she breathed those three little words that instantly washed over me, making my heart inflate with the emotion I felt for her.
I had spent most of my life not getting what I wanted and the realization I was going to get the girl I wanted more than any other was difficult to accept. I hesitated.
"You don't think you're good enough for me," she said, studying me carefully. I kept my features free from what was going on inside my head but somehow she could tell. Had I been that obvious?
"I know I'm not good enough for you," I said, meaning every word. If I were a good guy I would let her find someone who knew how to love her but I was too selfish. I wanted her for myself.
"Yes, my parents were murdered by two young guys that were high on drugs at the time. Did the drugs put the gun in their hands and pull the trigger? No. Not every person who gets high on drugs murders someone. It wasn't the drugs that ended my parents' lives." She paused. Anytime she spoke of the incident it was emotional for her. "You had a tough childhood and I can't imagine what it was like. It physically hurts to think of what you had to go through. I understand why you did the things you did and I would never judge you." She took my hand into hers.
I could see how much she cared, it shone from her eyes as she gazed up at me. I swallowed.
"You are good enough for me," she whispered, assuring me that my insecurities were unfounded.
And with her words it broke all the emotions I had been trying to suppress. I took her into my arms and hugged her tight. The feel of her body against mine was indescribable and I swallowed the lump in my throat. She lay her head against my chest and I breathed her in, allowing it to reassure me I wasn't dreaming. She was really here with me.
When she tried to break away I couldn't let her go. I wasn't ready. Not yet. I just needed a few more moments.
"Give me a minute," I breathed into her hair.
She allowed me to hold her for as long as I needed. I held her tightly, assuring myself that I wasn't going to lose her. Then I pulled away and gazed down at her.
"I was so scared I was going to lose you," I said, admitting out loud my inner fear.
"I'm not going anywhere," she stated confidently, staring at me.
She was mine. The feeling in the middle of my chest made me bend down to kiss her. She put her arms around my neck. The real thing was better than any memory of kissing her before.
The intensity of it left me breathless when I stopped and I leaned my forehead lightly against hers.
"I've never done this before," I admitted softly.
"What exactly are we doing?" she asked lightly but I could tell it was important to her. Was she scared that I only wanted what we'd shared before?
"This is going to be more than one night," I assured her, feeling lighter. I gave her a playful smile. I hadn't felt like this in a long time. "No hooking up with other people."
She looked at me and she couldn't hide the look of disappointment that passed over her features momentarily before she had a chance to hide it.
"We get titles as well," I teased.
"Titles?" She gave me a questioning look.
"Yeah." My smile widened. "Girlfriend."
This time when I kissed her, she clung to me. Now she knew how serious I was about her.
"Does that mean I get to call you my boyfriend?" she asked playfully when I ended the kiss.
I nodded. "I never thought I'd ever want more, but I do with you."
'It scares me," she admitted.
I had an awful track record with women but I knew that whatever we had was what I wanted. Even though I didn't know all the ins and outs of being with just one girl, I was willing to try and that was more than I had ever given anyone else.
