Page 97 of Loving Taylor
"Because you left me!" she yelled at me. It felt like she had struck me across the face and I took a step back as I reeled from her accusation.
She was struggling to contain her anger as she took a deep breath. Her eyes found mine and I saw the pain I had caused her. For a moment it shook my confidence in what I was asking her for. Was I being selfish wanting her when I had no idea if I could make her happy?
She took a deep breath to calm herself. I didn't want to upset her more so I kept quiet.
"How am I supposed to believe that you want that when, before the attack, you left me? You didn't give me a chance to explain—you just left. If you cared for me, you would have listened to what I had to say, but you didn't. You only came back because of what happened to me." I shook my head because it wasn't true. She had no idea what had really made me leave.
"Honestly, I don't think you would have come back if Eric hadn't attacked me, and that hurts," she added and to watch her eyes water made me feel horrible.
I knew in my heart that it wasn't true but the way she viewed me hurt.
She was so hurt and she was struggling to keep it under control. I remembered Connor's warning not to upset her but I was fighting for a future with her. If after I told her all the facts she still decided she wasn't willing to be with me, I would have no choice but to accept it and set her free. But she had to know everything first.
"I need to explain to you why I left," I said softly. My eyes pleaded with hers. "And you owe me a chance to explain."
She looked up at me with a look in her eyes that told me that I had said the wrong thing and there was no taking it back. I was making a mess of this.
"No, I don't," she stated calmly.
Her words were crushing. It was difficult to hold on to the hope that I would be able to change her mind. And I knew there was a good chance that even if she forgave me, she might not be able to forgive me for my past. I wasn't convinced she would but I had to try. I couldn't just give her up.
"Don't do this, Tay," I warned softly, knowing that she was too upset to listen to reason.
"I think you should leave," she told me, her eyes holding mine.
I contemplated refusing but I knew it would just get her more upset and that was the last thing I wanted. She had been through enough and it was selfish of me to push her too much now.
My jaw clenched as I fought against my instinct to stay and fight for her. This wasn't about me. This was about doing the best thing for her. And if she wanted me to leave I would.
She continued to stare at me, waiting for my response.
"I'll leave," I relented, "but I'm not giving up."
I gave her one last look before I turned and left, closing the door behind me.
