Page 29 of Loving Taylor
"Why did you invite them?" Only a few moments of seeing her together with Mr. Preppy had been hard to handle, I didn't want to spend a whole evening watching them together.
"I wanted to see her friend again," he admitted with a slight shrug of one shoulder.
"Jordan?" I asked. She didn't like me much because of my reputation. I couldn't see her being okay with Slater's reputation.
He nodded.
"I don't think she's our usual type." I felt compelled to warn him. In fact I was pretty sure she viewed him as a lowlife player like me.
He shut down the rest of the conversation with a shrug. He clearly didn't want to talk about it and I wasn't going to push it.
Seeing Taylor had turned my mood and I wasn't interested in being around people. Slater seemed quieter than usual so we went back to the house earlier than we had planned.
Alone in my room, my phone started to ring. I stood watching the flashing name of my mother as the insistent ringing put me on edge. The nightmares made it impossible to work through my feelings of abandonment from my past. Now I was even further away from finding a way to forgive her than I had been before.
I put my hand to my chest and rubbed the rawness that seemed to be spreading inside. Much to my relief my phone eventually stopped ringing. I sat down on my bed, trying to sort through the chaotic memories from my childhood and the thoughts of Taylor.
There had to be an explanation as to why I was still so wired over Taylor. What was it about her that kept her in the forefront of my mind, leaving no room for any other thoughts?
My eyes settled on the carpet by my feet as I contemplated possible reasons why I couldn't forget Taylor like the rest of the girls I had slept with. What set her apart from the rest? She was the most beautiful but looks were only skin deep. There had to be more than that.
I rubbed my chin as my mind explored the possibility that somehow her being a virgin had affected me more than I had wanted to admit. Being her first lover had given me a responsibility I had avoided with others, so what had made me step in and accept it? Fear of someone hurting her. But why did I care?
These were all questions I had asked myself before but I had been unable to come up with answers. I didn't even know much about her. Although I could remember every inch of her from our night together.
I suddenly had a thought. Was it my attraction to her? It still only took one look for me to feel my blood thicken at the thought of having her again. My attraction for a girl only lasted for the one night, and after that I wasn't interested. Clearly that wasn't the same with Tay.
No. Taylor, I corrected myself. I wasn't going to shorten her name like a nickname. It implied she was more to me than a girl who I'd bedded and was going to ultimately discard.
I went back to my previous thought about how I could still feel so attracted to her. I felt like I was on to something. One night hadn't been enough. Maybe I needed more. I rubbed my chin as I began to contemplate my new explanation of why I was struggling to move on from her.
Those thoughts stayed with me for the next few days. I saw Taylor briefly and I kept my interaction with her short and sweet, still not being completely convinced that sleeping with her would work her out of my system and would set me free to go back to my life before we’d met.
The upcoming party stayed in the back of my mind. I still hadn't decided how to deal with the pretty blue-eyed beauty who had dominated my mind despite every attempt I had made to forget about her.
I had contemplated giving the party a miss but then I decided I wasn't a coward, and I didn't run from things that were difficult to deal with. I faced them head-on and with the determination that helped me survive a bad childhood.
This would be no different.
The moment she stepped inside my house my eyes focused on her, taking in the mini skirt she was wearing. My heated gaze slid down her bare legs, remembering how good it had felt to feel them wrapped around me. I swallowed. Her eyes drifted over the crowd and I wondered if she was looking for me. Then I noticed the guy who was with her and I frowned. Caleb.
The crease in my forehead stayed as I watched her, along with her date and Jordan, making their way to the kitchen.
I glanced momentarily at the girl who I had been trying to chat up before Taylor had arrived. Her mouth was moving as her eyes glittered up to mine.
I had stopped listening. It wasn't her conversation I was interested in. She was a beautiful redhead but I didn't feel the usual pull I did to the opposite sex. I think her name was Sarah or Stacy. I couldn't remember. I wanted to test the possibility that pushing myself to sleep with her would end whatever lingered with Taylor.
I glanced back at the kitchen door to see Taylor and Caleb. My eyes narrowed as I took in every interaction between the two.
Then her eyes found mine. Feeling like a charge of electricity bounced between us threw me, leaving my heart beating a little faster than usual. I still wanted her as much as I had wanted her the first time I'd met her. Having her hadn't eased the attraction I felt for her.
My eyes slid down her, remembering exactly what she looked like underneath. Her pale skin and the softness as my hands glided down her body. I gritted my teeth, trying to keep a lid on what I was experiencing. When our eyes met again there was no doubt she felt the same way even if she was with another guy.
Our connection was broken when Jordan and Slater joined them. I briefly watched Slater with Jordan. I'd seen him with more girls than I could count and I could tell there was something different in the way he looked at her.
Taylor whispered something into Jordan's ear and then she left, headed in the direction of the bathroom. Before I could even make the choice, I followed a safe distance behind her. The bathroom downstairs was busy so she went upstairs, with me only a few steps behind her, not even sure what I was going to do.
There was only a brief moment when she walked into the bathroom and turned to close the door. I pushed the door slightly, stopping her from closing it. Her eyes met mine as I stepped into the room and closed the door.
We stood staring at each other. She looked surprised, with her mouth slightly open. She didn't say a word.
But this wasn't the time to talk. It was time for action. I wanted her and I wanted her now. It wasn't something I could explain.
Then I closed the distance between us, feeling our attraction pull me closer to her. Like we were magnets gravitating to each other with no control over it. The slight brush of her tongue on her lips broke me into action.
My mouth was against hers. My hands held her body against me. There had been no time to think the action through or to contemplate the repercussions. There was only my mouth moving against hers.
There was no resistance from her and when she started to kiss me back, it confirmed that she wanted this as much as I did.
