Page 25 of Loving Taylor
I held his gaze, trying to read his motive behind it. He was my best friend, I trusted him more than anyone, but I didn't like the idea of any guy around Taylor.
"I didn't think it was safe for her to walk alone." He gave me a dismissive shrug like it wasn't a big deal.
I could read him well enough to see his intentions for what they were and not what my crazy mind was trying to come up with. Feeling like an asshole for even thinking he would do something underhanded made me murmur, "Thanks."
"Do you know what you're doing?" he asked, taking me by surprise. His expression was concerned.
My behavior was out of character and so were the emotions building up inside me. If he had been acting like I had been the past few weeks I would be asking him the same question. But hearing the words out loud only put more weight behind what I was struggling to admit to myself.
"No, I don't," I admitted truthfully with a heavy voice. I dropped my eyes to study the contents of my mug, feeling defeated that everything I had tried hadn't worked up to this point.
I had no idea how to fix any of it. And sleeping with her had just made it worse. I could still feel her velvety soft skin under my hands, hear her gasp in ecstasy and remember the bliss of losing myself in her.
Even after working out for a few hours I still couldn't clear my mind of her. It didn't help that my sanctuary had been tainted with memories of her. Where I had first met her. The first time we'd kissed, and more.
Later, feeling like I was going to go crazy if I didn't get out, I suggested to Slater we go out and do something.
"Yeah, sure," he said. He was always up for going out. We both needed the distraction.
"How about we go to Joes?" I suggested.
It was our local hangout.
"Let's go," Slater said, standing up and getting his jacket.
It was like old times when we got there and started playing pool. He would set up the balls and I would break. We were both really good at it. After six games we were tied.
A couple of girls approached us, wanting to play against us. One was a redhead and the other had long auburn hair. It wouldn't be fair but I was pretty sure the way they were looking us up and down they didn't care about the game.
Slater raised an eyebrow at me and shrugged. If he wanted I would play along so he could score but I wasn't sure I had it in me. The only girl I wanted was still cycling through my mind, reminding me that no matter how much I didn't want to admit it I wasn't ready to let her go.
"I'm Casey," the one with the auburn hair introduced herself to me, putting her hand out to shake mine.
I shook hands. "Sin."
"Really?" she asked, looking at me suspiciously, not convinced it was my name.
I nodded with a smile. It was the usual response when I told people my name. No one could quite believe a mother would give her child that name. It reminded me of the events that had led to my existence and how I reminded my mother of that with every breath I took.
"Wow."
Slater partnered with Casey's friend Victoria, which left me with Casey. She was pretty funny and she attempted to flirt with me but I wasn't interested in her, despite my denial of having a girlfriend. We played a few games. Slater and Victoria were too busy flirting to pay much attention to the games, so it was pretty easy to beat them.
Slater suggested we go outside because the inside of the bar was getting stuffy and hot. Victoria went to the restroom and Casey remained outside with me while Slater went to get drinks.
She said something funny and I smiled. It was probably the first time I had interacted with a girl with no play to get her into bed.
Then I looked past her to see Taylor and Jordan walking toward us.
There seemed to be no way to get away from her. I had come out with Slater with one goal of keeping myself busy so I didn't have time to think about her and here she was walking toward me. Her usual open and friendly features were closed off.
Even dressed casually she was still so striking. The girl beside me didn't hold a candle to her. And suddenly it felt so wrong to be standing with another girl while Taylor and her friend approached.
It wasn't what it looked like but there was no way to explain that without revealing I cared what she thought.
I remembered our great night together. My gaze swept over her and I could still smell her in the bed beside me. The closer she got the more I studied her stoic features. She smiled at me but I never saw it in her eyes.
"Hi," I greeted. Casey turned to see who I was talking to. I saw the way Taylor looked her up and down.
