Page 51 of Breaking Matt
"I won't let anything happen to you," Matthew said, his voice moving closer to me. I lifted my eyes to see him standing in front of me, his expression concerned.
And that scared me as well. He could get caught up in this. I couldn't imagine how I would feel if anything happened to him while trying to protect me. It couldn't happen—somehow I had to make sure of that.
I let him take me into his arms and hold me close. He comforted me as my mind began to figure out how to keep him out of the mess I was in. I wouldn't be able to do that for my family—they were in as much danger as I was—but I had the ability to keep the guy I loved from getting caught up in it.
He pulled back slightly and lifted my chin. My eyes met his.
"I promise I won't let him get you," he assured me softly with a confidence that told me he would put himself in harm's way to keep me alive. But I couldn't live with that. If something happened to him and I was responsible for it, I would never recover from it.
He pressed his lips to mine gently and I closed my eyes, savoring the feel of his lips against mine. I loved him. But did I love him enough to do whatever it took to keep him from getting hurt? Already my mind was trying to figure out how to take him out of my life.
He looked at me with the same love I felt for him. There was no way he would just walk away because I asked him to. Either I had to drive him away or make it impossible for him to stay. I could sleep with someone else and tell him he didn't mean anything to me anymore, but after everything we'd been through I knew I couldn't do that to him. I wanted to save him—not crush his heart. There had to be another way to do it.
"Do you trust me to keep you safe?" he asked, scanning my features.
I trusted him with my life.
"Yes," I answered.
That wasn't the problem. The problem was keepinghimsafe.
Chapter Sixteen
"Iwantto see a picture of him," I told Matthew. He seemed to contemplate my request for a few moments before he stood up.
I couldn't explain why I had the need to see the guy who was after me. Maybe it was because he might not seem as scary as the unidentified monster I had in my mind. I hoped it would make him less scary.
Matthew went into his room and he came out with a folder.
"Are you sure?" he asked me, and I frowned.
"Yes, I want to see him."
He reluctantly opened the folder and handed me a picture.
Any hope of it easing my fears vanished. Initially he hadn't been what I'd been expecting, but the closer I looked the more I realized it was worse than I could have imagined. Nick looked just a few years older than me, but the hardness in his features made him look much older. He was tall with dark black hair that reached just below his ears. Dressed in a suit, the photograph had been taken just as he was about to get into a limo. Even just looking at a picture of him made a shiver run through me. His eyes were his worst feature. The dark brown depths were empty.
It was like looking into the soul of someone who would do the worst things you could think of and not feel an ounce of guilt. There was no sign of humanity in him and that scared me the most. What was a human without a conscience?
I held the photo for a few more minutes before I gave it back to Matthew. When he went back into his room to put the folder away, I began to pace the room. I was agitated. I wished I hadn't seen a picture of him now.
"You'd better call your mother," Matthew said when he came back out of his room. "She's worried about you."
I turned to look out the window for a moment, taking a deep breath to push the fear from my body when I exhaled. A few more deep breaths eased the negative emotions and I turned to face Matthew, who was still standing behind me.
"I'll call her," I said before I walked past him to get my phone.
I went into my room and sat down on my bed as I searched for my mom's number in my phone and hit dial. It rang a few times before she answered.
"Hi, baby," she said. I could hear the relief in her voice.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked my mother as I held the phone against my ear. I wasn't sure if I'd known all the details before if it would have helped me keep my friend safe—and I was still angry my parents had lied and kept all of this from me.
I heard her sigh.
"We didn't want to scare you," she answered, sounding tired.
"I know you think by keeping me in the dark you were protecting me, but you have to be honest with me," I told her angrily. "You can't keep stuff like this from me."
