Page 37 of Breaking Matt
"Did you hear me?" he asked angrily. For the first time he looked at me with hatred and I wavered for a brief moment.
"I don't want you anymore," he said firmly, telling me exactly where we stood. He didn't know I hadn't been able to go through with it, but his words still cut right through me.
"I..." started to say but he shook his head again.
"I gave you every chance I could, but no more," he said. I could see the hurt in his eyes. "I'm done. You can move on now."
He wasn't giving me a chance to say what I had to, which was making me even angrier.
"I can't," I managed to get out.
"You moved on just fine with your fuck-buddy."
He made another move to close the door but I wasn't going to let him shut me out before I could tell him everything. I pressed both my hands to the door and pushed against it. It took him by surprise and he took a step back. He had every right to be angry with me and feel the way he did.
I had to set the record straight and tell him.
"I need you to shut up and listen to me," I told him, putting my hands on my hips.
My anger and determination began to wane as the vulnerable side of me only he saw was about to open up.
"Nothing you say will change anything," he added, shaking his head, instead of allowing me to explain.
"I didn't," I said softly, trying to build up the courage to admit I hadn't been able to move on because of how I felt about him.
He looked at me with a confused expression.
"I didn't screw Zac," I admitted quietly, feeling like I was open for him to see straight inside of me.
He studied me for a moment.
"Nothing happened?" he asked me in disbelief.
"We kissed and stuff, but..." I took a deep breath. "I couldn't go through with it."
He kept his eyes on me as I took a step closer.
"Why?" he asked. His tone was softer than it had been before.
I didn't like that my feelings for him made me so vulnerable to him, but there was no hiding how I felt about him now.
"He wasn't you," I admitted in a whisper.
I was scared of how he would react. His feelings for me might not be strong enough to look past the fact I'd tried to move on—even if I hadn't been able to fully go through with it.
Chapter Twelve
He keptsilent while studying me. There—I'd done it. I'd opened up, and he was doing nothing! Anger flared up in me and my temper snapped.
"This is all your fault!" I yelled at him, putting a hand to my chest to ease the ache inside.
"What's my fault?" he asked softly, still watching me. Why wasn't he yelling back? Instead, he was calmly watching me with hooded eyes.
"Because before you...I'd never felt this way!" I screamed. I felt like I was going to explode from the emotions and pain I was suffering through.
And then he had the stupidity—or audacity—to smirk at me. I fisted my hands at my sides, not allowing myself the pleasure of wiping it off his face.
"You still care," he said. Shock hit me when I realized in the heat of the moment I'd admitted to still feeling something for him.Damn it!
