Page 33 of Breaking Matt
"If you can't do it then I'll have to find someone who will," I threatened him and for the first time I saw a flash of emotion cross his face.
"We agreed to keep up the pretense of dating so it would explain why I was always with you. So no one would suspect I'm your bodyguard," he reminded me, but I didn't care. The hurt from my rejection was stronger than any logical thinking.
"If you won't satisfy my needs you leave me no choice," I shot back as I took a step back.
"Don't push me," he warned softly as his hard eyes fixed on me. He was angry. I was okay with that—anything was an improvement on the indifference I'd been dealing with before.
"The choice is yours," I told him. "Either it's you or somebody else."
I gave him one last look that took in the slight twitch in his jaw before I took my coffee and left the kitchen.
I went to the living room to look out the window as I drank my coffee. He didn't follow me. My heart was hammering inside my chest and it took me a few moments to calm myself down. He made me so angry. I didn't want anyone else, but if he wouldn't break and do as I wanted, I would have to find someone else to take care of my needs.
I let out a frustrated sigh. I wouldn't allow him to get to me. We weren't anything. I just wanted great sex with him. It was nothing more than that.
In silence, Matthew drove me to campus. I ignored him. He knew what the options were and he'd made his decision, which meant I was now on the prowl for someone who would do as I wanted. We were pretending to date but it didn't matter to me. I didn't care what people would say about it. Besides, I'd try and find someone who could be discreet about it.
Once he parked the car and turned it off, I made a move to get out, but his hand on my wrist stopped me.
"Don't do something stupid," he warned. I pulled my hand from his grip.
"I gave you a choice and you made your decision," I reminded him as I get out of the car. I didn't wait for him—instead I walked away quickly. It was childish and also pointless, because moments later he'd caught up with me anyway.
Usually we met up with Courtney before class, but today she didn't have any classes so I went straight to our first class. It was the same class we'd had the day before. Then I remembered the new guy who had winked. He would be perfect as a replacement for Matthew.
"Remember we're supposed to be pretending to date," he said. I stopped and looked at him.
"I can be discreet about it," I assured him, watching him for a reaction.
"Fine," he said, sounding indifferent. That took me by surprise. It was like the wind had been taken out of my sails.
I'd expected him to fight me harder on this. It was like he'd given in too easily. Why?
He didn't wait for me. He walked into the class and I followed behind him. I was disoriented and confused. Pushing the emotions down, I sat down beside him and shot him a sideways glance.
His eyes swept over the classroom but he ignored me completely. He was different. Gone was the guy I had come to know and in his place was a stranger I didn't recognize. Was this part of the game or was he truly ready for me to move on to someone else?
It made no sense. How did he go from wanting it all to just letting me go? Was it a ploy or was it that easy for him to switch off his feelings for me? I felt like I'd had the wind knocked out of me as I tried to get myself together. I was stronger than this.
Sex had always been my way to keep my emotions at bay, and that was the only way I could get rid of any unwanted feelings or emotions that still tied me to Matthew. It was time to take control of my life and move on. My threat to him hadn't been empty; despite my confusion at his indifference, I was determined to carry it out. If he wasn't going to give me what I wanted, I would get it from another guy.
I pulled my gaze away from Matthew. My eyes went straight to the guy who had flirted with me the day before. My eyes met his across the room and I gave him a flirty smile. His smiled widened and I felt the appreciative sweep of his gaze.
His brown eyes were darker than his dark-brown hair. He liked what he saw. This would be a piece of cake. My confidence was restored and I began to think of ways to get what I wanted without blowing the cover Matthew needed.
I shot him a glance but his attention was on the lecturer, who had started the lesson. It was hard to believe he'd told me he wanted all of me and now he was letting me go without a fight. I shook it off. I had no idea if he was playing me or not but I was determined to move on. It was what I always did. I didn't get attached...well, until Matthew.
If he didn't want what I was prepared to give, then I would give it to someone else. My eyes drifted to the cute guy in the class, who had turned his attention back to the front of the room.
In my mind I began to try and figure out a way to contact the cute guy without making it obvious to anyone who could be watching. On more than one occasion I'd wondered if the whole bodyguard thing wasn't just an overreaction on my father's part. There had been threats but no one had harmed me. It made it difficult to believe my life was in danger.
I decided to write a note to the cute guy. I would shove it in his hand when I got a chance and the decision would be up to him.
In my note, I wrote:
If you want to meet up sometime, call me.
I wrote my number at the bottom of the paper.
