Page 12 of Breaking Matt
"Four."
I liked the way his arm tucked me into his side. I was already deciding what to do when we got to my apartment. Despite my earlier anger at him, I was attracted to him. The attraction hummed between us with every brief touch.
Outside the door of my apartment I gave him the keys and he opened the door. I walked in and put my hand against the wall to keep myself upright as I kicked off one shoe and then the other.
Matthew closed the door. He led me to my bedroom and he surveyed it before helping me sit down.
"You going to be okay?" he asked, scanning my features. Did he think I was going to throw up?
"No," I said, shaking my head.
He bent and brought his eyes level with mine. "What do you need?"
I reached out and grabbed his shirt. "You."
I tried to pull him closer but he resisted. I frowned. Most guys would have jumped at the chance to sleep with me. Was I not attractive enough? Why did he have a way of taking my confidence away and making me feel inept?
"Don't you want me?" I asked, my voice filled with the hurt I was feeling.
"I want you," he said, holding my gaze. He reached out and caressed my cheek. "Trust me, I want you. But not like this."
"Like what?" I asked.
"I don't want you to regret it in the morning."
What guy gave up the chance at sex because he didn't want me to regret it in the morning? Was this guy for real?
"I won't. It doesn't matter if I'm drunk or sober. I want you."
Even if when I was sober I didn't want to.
He smiled at me. "I'm glad to hear that."
In the morning I would probably rue the fact I had revealed so much to him, but at that moment I didn't care.
"Will you at least kiss me again?" I asked, needing a closeness with him.
He moved closer. On his knees, he cradled my face and brought his lips to mine. I slid my hands around his neck as his mouth moved against mine.
I didn't want the kiss to end—and when he broke his mouth from mine I felt disappointed.
"I'll call you tomorrow." Our eyes held for a few more seconds before he stood up. I lay down and he covered me with a blanket.
He left with a soft click of my bedroom door as he closed it behind him. I stared after him. I felt unsettled.
Chapter Four
My mouth waslike sandpaper when I woke up. It took one eye open to survey my surroundings to confirm I was in my bed. Thank goodness. My hand went to my throbbing head.
I had drunk too much last night. When memories from the night began to flood back I covered my face with my pillow, feeling mortified. I'd practically thrown myself at Matthew and he had turned me down. My already fragile ego was even more dented now. With Matthew, I was always on the back foot, unsure of how things would unfold.
The easiest route would have been to hide out in my bed, ignoring what happened. But I couldn't allow it to eat at me. I dragged myself out of bed and to the kitchen to find some painkillers. A quick look at the clock that hung on the wall told me it was after eleven already.
I poured myself some water to drink with the tablets and gulped them down, emptying the glass of water.
My phone started to ring. I followed the sound to my bedroom and found my cell on my side table. It was a number I didn't recognize, maybe it was Matthew. Last night he had told me he would call. I ignored it, holding my phone in my hand as it continued to ring. Eventually it stopped. I wasn't ready to face him yet. I put my phone down by the sofa and went to take a shower.
Afterward I pulled on sweats and a shirt. My phone rang for a second time, but this time it was my mom.
