Page 56 of Breaking Matt
I nodded, feeling apprehensive and hopeful. I reminded myself that it wasn't like I had never handled a gun before. I just needed a little bit of a refresher and then I would be good to go.
I glanced at Matthew. His full focus was on the road as usual. Every now and then he would do a sweep of his gaze, taking in the surrounding cars. Was that his training as a bodyguard that had kicked in? Was he looking out for any potential dangers? His eyes lifted to the rearview mirror before he concentrated back on the road in front of him.
It took a twenty-minute car ride before he pulled up in front of a small shooting range. The one my father had dragged me to had been much larger. I felt a bit nervous as I closed the car door.
"You still want to do this?" Matthew asked, taking in my visible apprehension and giving me an out.
I wiped the sweat from my palms on my jeans. "Yes."
Matthew took my hand in his and led me to the entrance. The sound of guns being fired increased my nervousness. It wasn't long before Matthew and I were looking at a bull's eye target, ready to start.
"You ready to do this?" he asked from beside me.
I didn't want to reveal my inner anxiety so I nodded my head instead of answering.
"We just need to go over the basics."
I listened and nodded as he ran through everything. He showed me the best way to hold the weapon. It wasn't like I wanted to own one of my own. This was just an exercise to help see if it could help expel the negative emotions that had been plaguing me since we had discovered Courtney at the hospital.
Matthew was a handsome man already, but there was something about seeing him in bodyguard-mode with the gun in his hand that made me swoon despite the turmoil inside. He'd never looked sexier.
"You ready?" he asked.
"Yes," I lied. I wasn't sure that I wouldn't end up shooting something I wasn't supposed to.
He handed me the gun and I tested the weight as I pointed it down at the floor. It was heavier than I had expected. My father had taught me never to point it at something you didn't intend to shoot.
"Remember. Only point it at the target." Matthew sounded so much like my father.
"Mr. Weiss," I said in a teasing voice, "you worried I'm going to shoot you?"
"A little." He positioned me so I was facing the target.
I lifted the gun with two hands. He moved my left hand to support the gun.
"Anytime you're ready." He put the protective ear muffs on me to protect my ears.
I inhaled and exhaled slowly as I lined up the target. I could hear the slight echo of my heartbeat in my ears.
The first pull of the trigger was sudden—I completely missed the target. I held the gun and tried to aim it closer to the target. My second shot, I hit the bottom right of it but I was getting the hang of it. Movies made it look so easy but hitting the mark in real life was so much more difficult.
I tried to calm the chaos inside me by thinking of nothing but the target in front of me. I lined up the next shot and slowly squeezed the trigger. By the end of the round I was feeling less emotional and even a little proud. I was no sharp-shooter, but I managed to hit the paper three times.
I couldn't quite put my finger on what had helped. Had it been the control I felt holding the gun? Or the smell of the gunshot? Or maybe using all my concentration on aiming had left little room for any other thought, for guilt or feelings of fear.
I pointed the gun the floor as I passed it to Matthew. I was smiling as he put the safety on while I removed the protective ear muffs.
"That was awesome," I said. It had worked. My earlier nervousness and agitation were gone.
"You're pretty good for someone who hasn't had a lot of practice."
"Thanks," I said, loving the fact I was feeling lighter. "I feel better." I couldn't explain how shooting off a couple of rounds at a stationary target had helped release the negative emotions that had been building up earlier.
The image that stayed with me was one of Matthew holding a gun. When we finally arrived back at the apartment, I only allowed him enough time to put his weapon away before I walked to him and pulled him into a kiss.
I wanted him right here, right now.
Despite me taking him by surprise, he kissed me back hard, pulling me closer as his arms wrapped around me, keeping me up against his body.
