Page 26 of Breaking Matt
His face had no emotion as he took in the information.
"It was the first and only time I'd ever failed," he said softly, still not looking away from the road. The guilt in his voice made me want to reach out and cover his hand with mine.
For a moment I got a glimpse at the true person Matthew was rather than the lie he'd been portraying.
Chapter Eight
"I'msure you did the best you could," I said. I couldn't imagine what it had felt like being in his position with the guilt he carried.
"It was my job to keep her safe," he said firmly. He still blamed himself despite it not being his fault.
"She's fine now," I said, still watching him.
He remained silent. He shook his head, eyes still on the road. I don't honestly know why I cared that he was allowing the guilt to eat him up.
"She doesn't blame you, I don't know why you still blame yourself," I added.
It was the truth. You just had to see the way Taylor looked at him when they were together. Anyone could see she cared deeply for him, more than someone should care about someone who had been paid to keep them safe.
The car slowed down as he did a scan of the parking lot. I'd been so absorbed in our conversation I hadn't realized we'd arrived at the college. He pulled up in the nearest parking space and turned off the car.
I'd been expecting him to ignore what I said but to my surprise he turned to face me. His expression was closed off and I had a feeling I wasn't going to like what he was going to say.
"I'm your bodyguard. You don't have to worry about my baggage. I can deal with that on my own," he said curtly and I felt my temper spark to life.
His cold tone and words cut right through me and I felt hurt. I'd been trying to help him. I could feel my temper rise and the anger I felt toward him rose too. I looked at him, refusing to pull my eyes away and show how much his words had affected me.
The pain I felt pushed me to hurt him right back. Without even thinking I opened my mouth and said, "Just make sure you don't make the same mistake with me."
As soon as the words were out of my mouth I regretted them but there was no taking them back. His jaw tensed. My comment had hurt him but somehow I didn't feel better like I'd hoped. In fact I felt a little worse.
"I get paid a lot of money to make sure I keep you safe," he said before he got out of the car, slamming the door shut.
His words hurt me because it reminded me of all the lies and betrayal. To him I was just a job he got paid to do, but to me he was so much more. More than anybody had ever meant to me. My anger and hurt trumped any sympathy I had for him. I felt the determination to make him pay dearly for hurting me as I opened the door and got out. Matthew was waiting for me beside the car but I ignored him as I slung my bag over my shoulder and walked to the entrance of the building.
I wouldn't show him any more weakness. He hadn't cared about lying to me so I shouldn't care about the guilt he carried. Like he'd said, he could deal with his own baggage. He had enough money to pay for a shrink.
When I spotted my friend Courtney, I plastered a fake smile on my lips.
"Hey," she greeted as she gave me a hug.
"Hi," I greeted back. I felt Matt's presence beside me. I wanted to ignore him but we were supposed to be playing a part.
"Hi, Matt," Courtney greeted him and he gave her a warm smile.
"Hi," he replied as he put an arm around my waist, a possessive touch I'd liked before but was now unwanted. I stiffened for a moment at the sudden touch. We needed to keep up the facade but all I wanted to do was yank myself out of his grip. It took all my self-control to lean in to him like I would have before.
"I can't believe the two of you are so loved-up after being together for a month already," she said, shaking her head.
She didn't know the truth. Matthew smiled and pulled me closer into him. I let him and he pressed a kiss to my cheek.
"Enough," Courtney said playfully. "I can't take any more."
I tensed under his grip but he didn't seem to have any problem playing the part he needed to. He smiled and hugged me closer. He was so good at it I could have believed he was still besotted with me even though I knew better.
"I still can't believe you settled down. I never thought I'd see it happen," she said.
It was true—I'd gone through guys and I'd never really dated any of them. I'd kept some for a couple of weeks but that had been the extent of it.
