Page 101 of Breaking Matt
Our attraction and romance had been a whirlwind, taking us both by surprise.
"Protecting my clients is what I'm paid to do. But with you I was personally invested." He walked up to me and I stood there, transfixed, unsure of what was happening. He stood so close but he didn't touch me. "There was no doubt in my mind when I took the bullet for you. It didn't just come from a trained instinct. It was because I loved you. I put your safety above my own."
I felt the lump in my throat. He'd used the past tense.
"I was angry when you told your father you didn't want me as your bodyguard anymore. You were taking away my ability to keep you safe. I couldn't trust anyone else to protect you like I knew I could. It was why I went to see your father to ensure I still had full control over your protection detail. Every time I saw you I was reminded you had tried to keep me out of your life. It hurt."
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"I wanted you to feel the same pain I was." It explained his distance and actions. Even the last time we'd been in the pool house. "But it didn't change how much I loved you."
And there it was again. Past tense.
"That's why you put yourself in danger and went to see Nick," I said.
He nodded. "The more I looked at everything, I began to realize that things didn't add up and the more convinced I was that Nick wasn't behind the threats. It was a hunch and I took a gamble. It was the only way I knew to ensure your safety."
"That was a very dangerous risk."
"Not as dangerous as what you did. You went in blind, and you're lucky we found you in time."
"There was no way I was going to do nothing when I thought you were in danger." I wanted to reach out to him and close the distance between us. I was laying my heart out in front of him, still unsure of how he was going to respond. "You still haven't told me why you haven't been to see me since the hospital."
"Do you know how hard it is to see you injured when it was my responsibility to keep you from harm?" He raked a hand through his hair, his eyes briefly breaking from mine before I saw a glitter of emotion as they met mine again. "They beat you. I can't think about what would have happened if we hadn't arrived in time. And the worst thing was I didn't even know you were missing! I came so close to losing you it scared me...really scared me."
"But I'm fine. My bruises are nearly gone."
He reached out and gently touched my side. The slight touch of his hand, even through the thin fabric of my shirt, made me hold my breath.
"And I was angry with you and with your foolish actions." He dropped his hand from me and I took a breath.
"So where does that leave us now?" I asked. I still had no way of knowing what the outcome of this would be. What was done was done and there was no changing any of it. There was still a good chance he would walk away.
"My head tells me to get as far away from you as I can physically get."
I looked up at him, hoping this wasn't our end—but I felt winded by his words. Hurt.
"But my heart wants me to hold on to you and never let go."
My heart inflated and I looked up at him with some hope.
"Do you know what I want?" I asked. He'd been honest and now it was time for me to be the same.
He remained silent.
"I want you to hold me and never let me go."
His eyes held mine like he was trying to make a difficult choice.
"I need more than I think you can give me."
I frowned. I would give him everything I had. "What do you want from me?" I said. With him, everything felt so right.
"You. Forever."
That was what I wanted. My eyes teared up and I nodded. "I can give you that."
"With a ring and making it official?" He raised a questioning eyebrow.
