Page 55 of Rock Star

Mom and Dad had encouraged me, saying I needed a break. “Have fun,’ Dad said and Mom echoed him as I prepared to leave the apartment.

“Will do,” I lied, kissing them both on the cheek.

Gonna be far from fun…

I’d agreed to the meetup for Hayley’s sake… she’d been a good friend. Camila, on the other hand, had given every impression of disliking me and I had no clue why she was tagging along.

Throughout the bus ride to Broadway, I tried not to think about Axel. Impossible. His surprise visit yesterday had brought to the surface all the concerns I’d kept buried while looking after Mom. I’d barely slept the past couple nights for worrying about the future. How was I going to stop myself from being drawn back into Axel’s orbit? And what would happen when my job came to an end? I’d been too preoccupied with Mom to even think about finding something else.

With a heavy feeling in my stomach, I got off the bus and walked to the iconic Eastern Columbia Building… the greatest surviving example of art deco architecture in the city. I’d arranged to meet Hayley and Camila in a ground floor coffee shop. Apparently, they hung out there all the time when they worked in nearby theaters.

After stepping through the door, I spotted them and went up to their table. “Hey,” I forced a smile.

“Hey,” they greeted me in unison, looking gorgeous as usual. Perfect makeup. Styled hair. Manicures.

I pulled out a chair and took a seat. Hayley handed me the menu, smiling. “The avocado toast is amazing. So are the paninis.”

“I’ll have a prosciutto panini and a latte,” I said.

We placed our orders, then, without preamble, Camila leaned toward me. “I wanna apologize for my bitchiness on the tour. I was grieving for Ella and I took it out on you…”

My mouth dropped open at her forthrightness. I closed it quickly.

“Apology accepted.” I met her gaze. “How are you doing?”

“So. So. There are good days and bad. Work keeps me from dwelling on things,” she sighed. “How about you? I heard your mom is sick…”

“Yeah,” Hayley grabbed my hand. “You should’ve told us what was going down, girlfriend.”

“Didn’t wanna dampen anyone’s spirits. Mom’s doing great now, thank God.” My body had suddenly turned cold. “But it might take up to a year for her blood counts to get close to normal and for her immune system to work well.”

“Jeez.” Camila reached across and rubbed my shoulder. “That sucks.”

“I’m so sorry,” Hayley said, adding her hand to Camila’s.

“Life, eh?” I felt the familiar sting behind my eyelids.

Don’t cry!

Our server arrived and placed our orders in front of us. I took a sip of my latte. “I’m going back to work with the band next week,” I said for something to say.

Camila shot me a stern look. “Axel loves you, Phoenix. I saw the way he behaved around you. I know I didn’t express it well in Glastonbury.” She exhaled a long breath. “I’ve known him since ChiMera made it big in the US. I’ve toured with the band on and off these past several years and I could see how you changed him. Tamed him, even.” She gave me a sad smile. “I shouldn’t have said what I said about him and the guys still using blow. I believed them when they said it was only at Wembley and Glastonbury. And there was no evidence Axel snorted any lines in London. It was at the Festival, that’s all…”

“I don’t know if I’ve got the strength to cope with him slipping up again,” My mouth twisted. “With my Mom and everything…”

“You should talk to him, sugar,” Hayley advised. “Lay your cards on the table.” Her eyes turned dreamy. “I love a happy ending and I want one for the two of you.”

I laughed at the simplicity of her suggestion. “Okay. I’ll talk to him,” I promised. And I would.

Camila and Hayley launched into a discussion of the latest trends in fashion and makeup, leaving me to eat my food and think my own thoughts.

It struck me that I’d been behaving like Axel’s dad in refusing to speak to him. Despite what he’d done, Axel didn’t deserve my unforgiving treatment of him. He wasn’t a bad person… it was only his behavior that had been bad.The following Monday I sat in the recording studio control booth with CM’s producer and Jake, a set of headphones covering my ears.

ChiMera were working on the first song Axel had written with me as his muse. I recognized the riffs and my heart skittered.

You fly like an angel

In a magical moonbeam

And I’m a mere mortal

Living in a dream.I watched and listened as he leaned into the mic stand playing the bassline. He’d lay down the lead vocals in a booth later and Jake would want me to record backup in the same way. Foxy was drumming in an isolation cubicle at the side of the room. Zach brought his hands down on the keyboard with Foxy’s downbeat and Rhys’ fingers blurred over the frets and strings of his guitar.

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