Page 31 of Fated
“Please,” he said softly as he patted the empty spot beside him. “I need you to tell me everything.”
He was my mate and that was the only reason I considered his request. After a few more moments of silence I relented and went to sit beside him but made sure to leave enough space so we wouldn’t touch accidentally.
“Where do you want me to start?” I asked as I clasped my hands together.
“At the beginning,” he suggested softly.
I think as hard as it was going to be for me to lay everything out in the open to him, it was going to be just as hard for him to hear it.
“I didn’t have the type of childhood you had,” I began to explain and he watched me. “Victor was a hard man that used people in his pack like soldiers and I was no exception. The fact that I was his daughter made little difference.”
I glanced down to see his fists tighten slightly.
“I was expected to train like everyone else, and sometimes he expected more from me because I was his daughter.” I didn’t like to think about the past because there was no happiness in it but I knew that I needed to do this. “The few times I’d refused, he’d ensured I received a fitting punishment…Sometimes it was a beating and other times he’d lock me up and only give me a little food and water for days.”
Everyone thought they knew Victor but I knew the depth of what he would do to get what he wanted. He was worse than the reputation he’d earned throughout the territories.
I noticed the slight tense of Blake’s jaw and knew he was struggling to control his temper, and it made me feel warm inside.
“I’m not sure why he kept my mom around initially but when I got older and the punishments didn’t seem to be working anymore, he decided to use my mother to ensure my obedience instead.”
He ran a hand through his hair as he looked away from me.
“I’d dreamed of running away but there was no way I could let anything happen to my mom.”
He stood up and began to pace. He was struggling with all the details of my life. It had been much harder to live through it.
“There was no way to get her out of here so I did the only thing I could. I did whatever Victor wanted even though it meant doing…terrible things.”
He stopped pacing and turned to face me. I held his gaze for a few moments, wondering what he was thinking. He walked closer and I tried to stop myself from leaning away from him. Being this close was pushing my boundaries of trust. I had to trust that he wouldn’t touch me without my permission. He bent down in front of me and looked at me.
“I’m so sorry,” he said gently. He meant it and I felt my heart squeeze. “I know it doesn’t erase the hurt I caused or what happened to you…it doesn’t change the fact that your mom will die, but I just wanted you to know that if I could have changed any of that, I would have.”
His words reached down into some hidden part of me, a part of me that had been pushed into the darkness my whole life that wanted to come out into the light. I tensed my jaw and pushed it back into the darkness.
Words are just words, I reminded myself. For me to completely trust him, he would have to prove to me that I could trust him. His eyes scanned my face and he reached out to touch my cheek. I was stunned but his fingers never connected with my face; instead they hovered slightly above my skin.
“You don’t know how badly I want to touch you,” he admitted softly, and I swallowed. “After hearing what happened to you, I want to hold you and tell you everything will be all right, but I won’t touch you until you ask me to.”
I held my breath, my eyes fixed to his. He hadn’t done what I’d expected and I felt a little off balance. It was rare that people didn’t behave the way I expected.
He stood up and shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.
“I have something to tell you,” he said softly. I could see by his expression that whatever he was going to tell me, I wasn’t going to like.
Thoughts raced through my mind as I tried to figure out what he could have done that made him look so guilty.
“From this point, I want you to be able to trust me,” he said. “So I need to tell you everything.”
I clasped my hands together as I tried to keep my nervousness from my face. Normally I was able to keep my emotions in check but when I was with Blake it was harder. It was like when he looked at me he saw deeper into me than anyone else.
“All I ask is that you listen to what I have to say and give me a chance to explain,” he requested. I contemplated for a few moments while he watched me before I gave him a brief nod.
“I lied to you,” he admitted softly.
A tense silence settled over us. It didn’t surprise me, but it still hurt.
“I didn’t come here because I forgave you and wanted to mate with you,” he revealed, and I felt my heart crack. It wasn’t like I was surprised because from the moment he’d shown up I’d suspected he had ulterior motives, but still, the fact that he admitted it was harder to cope with.
