Page 26 of Fated
What scared me the most wasn’t just trusting Blake. I trusted Curtis so I knew I was capable of trusting. I was scared of feeling something. The only person I truly loved was my mom, but if I let Blake in then there would be a pretty good chance that I would care for him, maybe even love him. I’d never been in love before but I’d seen enough heartbreak to know the consequences of being hurt and I wasn’t sure if I could cope with that. Loving someone gave them the power to break you.
I felt the heat of his gaze on me.
“You agreed to give me a chance to get to know you,” he reminded me. “You need to lower the walls if you want to give me an opportunity to try and make a go of this whole mate thing.”
I stopped to turn to face him.
“I did agree and I’ll give you a chance,” I assured him. He had no idea the pressure I was under at the moment. Every time I thought about what was inevitable I wanted to scream and cry at the same time.
“How about we agree to have lunch together?” he suggested. It was hard not to feel suspicious of his actions, but I bit my lip before I nodded my agreement.
“Great,” he replied. “I’ll go and organize the food. You meet me back at my room at twelve.”
He gave me a smile, the one that did funny things inside of me, before he turned and walked away, leaving me feeling out of place and nervous. I was still standing there watching him when I heard someone walk up to me. I didn’t need to turn to know it was Kyle.
“You haven’t told him about your mom yet.”
It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. I wanted to ignore him and keep walking so I didn’t have to have this conversation with him but he held my wrist gently to keep me from getting away. Reluctantly I sighed as I turned to face him.
“You can’t use the excuse that he can use your mom against you.”
He was right but I didn’t want to face it. I pressed my lips together to keep my temper under control. I didn’t know why he had to keep pushing me about him. Couldn’t he let me decide when I was ready to reveal it to Blake?
“The sooner you come clean about your mom, the sooner you guys can figure out stuff,” he explained.
I couldn’t understand why it mattered so much to him.
“Look, I know that you think you know me but you don’t. Your cousin thinks that I’m good but that doesn’t mean that I am,” I said, getting more exasperated by the moment.
He studied me for a moment as if he was contemplating something.
“Scarlett isn’t my cousin,” he revealed.
I frowned. He was the son of Nate, who was Scarlett’s dad’s brother. Of course he was Scarlett’s cousin.
“Scarlett’s my sister.”
I scanned his face to see any signs of lying but I couldn’t see any. As far as I could see he was telling the truth. I took a step back as the full implication of what he’d just said hit me.
My father, the person who’d given me life, had murdered his parents. He should hate me, but he was trying to see the good in me. The good that I wasn’t so sure was there.
“You should hate me,” I whispered as I held his gaze.
“How can I hate you for something your father did?” he said. That hadn’t stopped everyone else from thinking the worst of me, though.
“Everyone else does,” I added, but he shook his head.
“People think that you went along with your father. They don’t know that your father forced you to do as he said. No one knows about your mother and how he used her to make you do what he wanted.”
I bit down on my lip.
“You told me the reason why you didn’t want to tell anyone about your mom was because you were scared they would use her to control you.”
I let my gaze drop to the floor.
“You can’t hide behind that excuse anymore. I spoke to Curtis, and he said she only has a few days left.”
I hated that he was right and he was forcing me to face it.
