Page 30 of Alpha
Some people might have a romantic idea about werewolves and mates—the idea that in an instant everything falls into place when you find your mate, the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. In that moment, you find the person who is going to love and protect you forever and you in return feel the same about them.
There are no games or backing out. It is final and definitive. Soul mates.
It was hard to consider that I’d feel something other than loathing for him. He had a way of riling me up without even trying.
I hadn’t spent tons of time thinking about boys or falling in love, but never in a million years had I expected this. I’d thought about meeting someone and feeling that instant attraction that after a while would develop into something stronger like love. Not touch someone and instantly I’m in love with someone I can’t stand to be around. I didn’t even like him.
One thing I couldn’t dispute was the fact that I was physically attracted to him, as much as I hated that fact.
When he’d opened up his bedroom door without a shirt on, I’d wanted to run my hands over his perfectly defined abs. I also couldn’t help but wonder if his lips felt as soft as they looked. I’d never felt so attracted to the opposite sex. I, like any other girl, could appreciate a good-looking guy, but this attraction I felt for Cade was something else. I contemplated the whole idea for a moment. Perhaps it would work if he could keep his mouth shut, but I didn’t see that happening.
Cade was a force to be reckoned with. He was all male, strong and dominant, and he wasn’t the type to back down from anything. Despite the fact that I’d never seen him fight in wolf form, I knew he would be vicious.
I knew Cade well enough to know he would try to dominate me totally and it scared me. For so many years I’d been fighting to be independent and the thought of losing that independence in a moment when Cade discovered I was his mate filled me with dread.
I wondered whether his dominance was part and parcel of being an alpha but then I thought about Blake. Blake was also an alpha, but he was very different. From the short time I’d known him, he struck me as the easygoing type who would take people’s feelings into consideration before making a decision, unlike Cade.
Even now I could see the independence I’d fought so hard to get was running like water down the drain.
The pounding in my head brought me out of my thoughts and back to reality. Despondent, I walked to the adjoining bathroom and took two of the tablets and drank them down.
The ache in my side was still so sore. I lifted my shirt and studied the area that hurt and saw a bruise was already starting to form.
Despite all my feelings about Cade being my mate, I couldn’t change what was destined. I could delay it for a while, but that was all I could hope for.
Someone knocked on my door and I opened it to find Gary standing there holding a bag.
“Thanks,” I said as I took the bag from him and walked over to the bed. He followed me inside.
“How are you doing?” he asked with concern.
“As good as can be expected,” I said. “It’s not every day I find out I’m a supernatural creature.”
I let out a sigh and turned to face him.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to be so full of it. It’s been a rough day and I’m sore and tired,” I told him.
“I know,” he said, pulling me into a gentle hug. I rested my head against his chest and closed my eyes for a moment. Gary was the only one who saw me at my most vulnerable. To everyone else I was tough and independent. He was the one who saw the vulnerable and scared little girl who had lost both of her parents.
After a few moments, I pulled away from him.
“I still can’t quite believe that I’m a werewolf. Maybe it might feel more real when I’m able to shift,” I said.
“I was your dad’s best friend and I never suspected anything,” he said, sounding mystified.
I was too young to remember much, so even when I worked through the few memories I had of my parents, I hadn’t noticed anything that would indicate they were anything other than normal parents.
“It is what it is; it doesn’t matter how we got to this,” I muttered as I sat down on the bed, feeling a little drained from the events of the evening.
“All that matters is how we move forward,” I finished.
“Blake and Cade seem to know what they are doing,” he commented, watching me carefully.
“Well, they’d better or else it isn’t going end well for me,” I said with a sigh. It was the truth. My life and survival was in their hands. If they made a mistake, I would end up paying the cost.
It was frightening for my life to be dependent on the actions of others.
“I suppose this means I’d better start being nice to them,” I said as I looked to Gary. A half grin tugged at his lips.
