Page 47 of Alpha
“Let’s forget about what happened before. All that matters is that we found each other,” he said.
“Fine,” I agreed as I nodded. “As long as I don’t have to worry about your conquests coming out of the woodwork.”
“I’m not going to lie to you, Scar, there have been plenty before, but now there is only you,” he softly declared.
I wanted to stay angry with him, but it was difficult when he was so damn sweet. And I couldn’t help the flutter inside my stomach when he called me Scar. There was something intimate about the way he said it that did crazy things to me.
“It’s hard for me to think you’ve been with other guys, but there is nothing I can do about it,” he said. Little did he know I had an empty past when it came to boys; I’d never had a boyfriend. I’d been kissed before, but that had been the sum total of my experience.
One moment of silence turned into another as I contemplated what I was going to tell him.
“Have you had… many?” He asked the question he didn’t really want the answer to.Hell no!There was no way I was going to tell him there hadn’t been anybody. He didn’t get to have the clear mind of knowing that he would be my first when I knew for a fact that I wasn’t his. He’d probably had so many that he couldn’t even count them.
I hated the fact that when a girl slept around everyone called her a slut, but if a guy did the same thing he was called a stud. It was so unfair.
He would find out the truth when we mated but until then I would allow him to think that there had been others. If I had to think about all the previous girls he’d screwed, I’d occupy his mind with my imaginary guys. Fair was fair.
“A few,” I lied.
His fists tightened and then he released them. He didn’t like that one bit.Welcome to my club. I didn’t like to think about all the girls he’d entertained before me.
He paced for a little while before he turned to face me.
“I know this whole werewolf thing is new to you and most people in your shoes would be freaking out,” he began to say. I knew where this conversation was headed.
“And if your life wasn’t in serious danger at the moment, I’d give you the time to get used to all of it, but I can’t.”
I pressed my lips together as he sat down beside me and took my hands in his. I knew he was going to insist I join his pack and mate with him so he’d be able to protect me better.
I knew he was doing it because he cared about me and wanted to keep me safe; I understood that, but there were just some things I wouldn’t be forced into and I had to stand my ground.
“I want you to join my pack,” he said as he watched me for a reaction.
It wasn’t a surprise. I waited for him to continue.
“It will help me keep you safe. Like Blake explained to you, if you join my pack we will be able to communicate via the mind-link,” he explained calmly, still holding my hands in his.
I could read in his eyes that he was expecting me to fight him on it. Before we’d connected as mates I would have fought him on it but now I understood his need to protect me because I felt that need for him as well. Above all else, I wanted to keep him safe.
Just the thought of something happening to him nearly had me hyperventilating.
“Okay,” I said with a nod to emphasize I was agreeing to it. His mouth dropped open slightly in shock. Yeah, he hadn’t seen that coming.
“I kinda expected you to fight me on that,” he told me as he flashed a lethal smile that should come with a warning, like ‘panties will melt’. I had an urge to reach for his face and press his lips to mine. The constant urge to touch him and have him touch me was very distracting.
“I understand you want to protect me, I really do and that’s why I’m not going to fight you onthis,” I explained. I squeezed his hands in mine.
I wondered if he realized my wording meant that although I wasn’t going to fight him on this, I was going to stand my ground on some other things. I’d conceded on this point and I hoped he’d be able to concede on the other ones I wasn’t going to back down on.
“I’ll miss the fact that you won’t smell of wild daisies anymore,” he murmured to me as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. He leaned closer and took a deep breath and sighed as he released it. He liked the way I smelled and I couldn’t stop the flutter in my stomach at the thought.
I loved the smell of fresh rain, so I didn’t mind.
“So is joining your pack going to hurt?” I asked as I looked nervously at him.
It just seemed like everything that was connected to the werewolf thing had to hurt: the biting to mate, and the first few shifts when I started shifting into a werewolf.
Was it too much to hope that it wouldn’t hurt?
