Page 88 of Surviving Slater
"Slater?" she asked, sounding confused.
"Yes. He came to the funeral," I said, not comfortable telling her any more than that.
"Did you tell him where you were?" she asked. It was unexpected.
"No. Didn't you?" I asked, frowning. When he had shown up I had assumed it was Taylor who had told him, or that she had told Sin and he had relayed it to him.
"I didn't tell anyone, Jordan," she revealed. My frown deepened.
"I have to go," I told her, needing to know how he had found me. "I'll call you back later."
When I ended the call, I crossed my arms, still keeping the sheet around myself.
"I have two questions for you," I said, walking to the foot of the bed. He slid from the bed and grabbed his jeans.
"How did you know I was here? And did you use Cathy to push me away?"
At the second question, he looked over his shoulder as he buttoned up his jeans. It was still distracting to see him half-naked but I was more determined to get answers.
He turned to face me and raked a hand through his hair.
"Let's get Cathy out of the way," he said, sounding determined. "Nothing happened with her."
I looked at him, disbelieving that.
"I won't lie to you. I used her. I wanted you to believe I had moved on."
His words hurt, the truth hurt. Feeling the need to be less vulnerable, I picked up the sweats and shirt he had lent me.
"I've done some pretty shitty things but I never meant to hurt you," he continued, but now I was hurt and angry. Then I remembered I had taken Levi as my date.
I had played a similar game. But I hadn't used Levi to drive him away, I had used him to protect myself.
I pulled the shirt on before I stepped into the sweatpants and tied them to keep them in place, discarding the unnecessary sheet.
"Why did you do that?" I asked, sounding as hurt as I felt. I didn't want to play games anymore. I loved him and wanted more with him even though it scared me.
But if we couldn't figure our shit out, then there wasn't any hope for us. And the only way to do that would be to be honest with each other.
"I don't do this," he said, sweeping his hand between the two of us. "I don't get emotionally involved."
"Why?" I asked, needing to know that it was because of his sister's death.
"Someone trusted me and I loved her more than I thought possible. I let her down and I will never get to tell her how sorry I am." His eyes glittered with emotion and I wanted to console him but I kept still. "I made a mistake and she paid the price."
I disagreed. Seeing the grief and sadness in his eyes, I could tell he was paying the price every day.
"I don't get close to people because it hurts. Keeping people at a distance means I don't have to worry when they walk away, because I don't care." He was clear in his way of thinking. "Sin is the only one I let in. He is my family."
Despite my uncle's actions, I felt very lucky to at least have a mother who loved me.
"And me?" I whispered, not sure I was ready for the answer.
His eyes held mine. "With you it's too late. I hurt already."
"I don't want to hurt you," I said, stepping closer.
"You showed up with Levi and I hated every minute of watching you together with him."
