Page 68 of Surviving Slater
We were now in the place where we'd been intimate just a few nights ago, and it felt like a walk down memory lane. I remembered how my skin felt beneath his touch, and an involuntary thrill raced up my spine.
He walked into my room. The bottle of medication on my beside table caught my attention and I felt panicked that he might see it, but his concentration was solely on me.
"What do you want from me?" I asked. "Do you want me to tell you my darkest secrets?"
He remained still.
"You didn't want to get emotionally entangled with me but here you are asking me to reveal things I've never told anyone."
The only reaction to my words was the slight tightening of his hands into fists.
"So do you really want to know?" I asked, my voice hoarse with emotion.
"No," he said stiffly.
His answer hurt like a punch to my stomach, temporarily stealing the air from my lungs.
"Then leave," I said. He didn't have any right to be here questioning me about anything.
Just as he turned to go, his eyes took in the bottle of medication and he stopped.
Panicked, I wanted to grab the bottle from him but I stopped myself. If I reacted like that he would know I was hiding something.
"What's this?" he asked before he read the label.
"Medication." I kept my response vague.
He looked back at me. I walked to him and grabbed it from his hand.
"Please leave," I demanded.
"I can't." He turned to face me.
"I don't need you here. Get out," I tried again, feeling more and more helpless.
"Why are you taking that stuff?" he asked. "Is it really that bad?"
It was worse than that.
"Get out!" I yelled, feeling my rising panic.
Seconds later, Levi appeared behind Slater.
"I think it's time you left," he said to Slater. I put my hand to my mouth as they sized each other up. Slater was more intimidating.
Slater gave me one last look before he left. Levi followed him out and I felt my body sway as the emotions I had been suppressing broke free. Tears sprang to my eyes and I opened the bottle. I swallowed a tablet and hid the medicine in the drawer before Levi returned.
"He's gone. You okay?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.
My lip trembled slightly and I gave him a nod, unable to speak as I swallowed the lump in my throat.
"Yes."
Chapter Seventeen
For the nexttwo days I was numb, my emotions smothered by medication. I went to classes, ate and slept. But the light that had given a shine to my life wasn't there anymore. The brightness dimmed and I struggled through with the help of the pills. I don't know how I would have survived without them.
Since my crying session with Levi just after Slater had left, I had held myself together without any further meltdowns. Levi had kept an eye on me.
