Page 62 of Surviving Slater
"I'll be ready."
I left him to go get ready, mulling over my possible outfits for the night ahead. The chance that Slater would be there made me determined to look good. I knew that thought didn't tie in with my decision to let him go and move on.
I rubbed my temple slightly, trying to make sense of my feelings and my logical thoughts.
After a quick shower I surveyed the three outfits I had narrowed it down to, deciding to go with the more casual outfit. It was like I was making the statement that I didn't care he was going to be there. My outfit could lie but my heart couldn't.
I looked at the bottle of tablets that had helped me over the last couple of days. Checking my watch, I calculated I wouldn't be able to take another until after we had to leave. To make sure I didn't forget, I slipped the bottle into my bag.
It wasn't ideal. But having an emotional episode was less attractive.
After getting ready, I surveyed myself in the mirror. I was happy with the outfit and the soft touch of makeup. I soothed my hair before I picked up my bag and walked out of the room.
"Look at you, handsome," I said to Levi as I saw him leaning against the back of the couch. He was dressed in jeans and a smart dark blue shirt that emphasized his eyes.
He smiled. "I'm glad you approve." His eyes glided over my outfit. "You don't look too bad yourself."
I put my hand on my hip and pouted playfully.
"I take it back. You look stunning," he quipped. "I'll have the most beautiful girl on my arm tonight."
"Suck-up," I said with a cough, and he chuckled.
"Nope, it's the truth. Any guy who had you would be lucky," he said in a more serious tone.
The guy who could have me didn't want me. The thought hurt. I glanced down at my watch to calculate when I could take my next tablet to numb the pain.
"All guys are assholes," I said, trying to smile even though I didn't feel like it.
If I could I would have blown off the evening and spent the night in the safety of my room, trying to work through my issues and my feelings for Slater.
"That bad?" Levi asked, walking up to me.
"Yeah," I said softly, and then swallowed.
"Then I'll make sure you have a great night," he promised. The sparkle in his eyes gave me hope that, despite my fears, tonight would go better than I expected.
"I'm going to hold you to that. Let's go," I told him, leading the way.
He drove us to Sin and Taylor's place. The numbness of inner turmoil was wearing off and I could feel the flutter of nervousness in the pit of my stomach.
"You okay?" Levi asked, giving me a side-glance.
"Yeah, why?" I asked. If he could tell something was up so would everyone else. I would be an open book for everyone to see.
"You just look like you've got a lot on your mind."
He didn't know the half of it.
"No, I'm fine," I said, brushing off his concern. I didn't want to give a glimpse into the pain I had been struggling with as well as the hurt I felt from being abandoned, even knowing it was for the best.
It reinforced the idea that guys only brought heartbreak and pain.
I should have kept to the type of guy who wouldn't have managed to pierce the protective armor I had built up around my heart. I had felt it the moment my eyes had connected with him—an awareness and attraction I couldn't fight. I had played with fire and gotten burned. Now it was time to retreat and allow my wounds to heal.
When we pulled up in front of Sin's condo, my eyes went to the condo a few doors down. I wondered if he was at home or if he was already at Sin and Taylor's.
Levi got out of the car and I got out of the passenger side. He offered his arm and I took it, plastering a smile on my lips.
