Page 73 of Surviving Slater
"Knowing you're taking medication worries me." So, as I had been afraid of, finding out I was taking pills to help me was the root cause of this.
"Sometimes taking something helps," I explained, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. I never considered myself a weak person but I didn't like admitting I needed the help.
"I know firsthand how quickly it can spiral into an addiction that destroys lives."
There was truth in his eyes. The sadness erased my anger at his actions and I dropped my arms to my sides. It was a glimpse into his past. I wondered if he was talking about Shannon or if it had something to do with his own past.
"It won't," I assured him. I hated taking the stuff but, to get through every day, I needed it.
He gave me a doubtful look. "It's difficult to believe that, when I've seen it happen before. It takes over your life and nothing else matters."
There was no way to assure him that it wasn't going to happen with me.
"I don't want that for you."
The intensity of his words sent a flutter through me. If I forgot about Cathy for a moment, hearing his words would make me believe he cared—really cared—about me.
But his actions didn't fit in with someone who did.
"Is that what happened with Shannon?" I asked.
The effect was immediate. He looked at me like I had physically struck him as he took a step away from me. I expected him to leave as abruptly as he had the last time, but he didn't.
"Shannon was my sister."
The 'was' in the sentence gave me all the information I needed. The look he gave me made me step forward and I embraced him. At first he was stiff but I refused to let him go.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"Me too." His arms wrapped around me and he hugged me back.
Chapter Eighteen
He pulled awayfrom me after a little while.
"This isn't about me," he said. He sounded so wounded that I wanted to argue. We both had had childhood events that had fundamentally changed us.
I didn't have siblings so I couldn't even imagine what it would feel like to lose a family member. My childhood event had made me mourn the loss of my innocence, forever tainted.
"If you can't talk to Taylor about it, maybe you should go and see someone. You're one of the strongest people I know and there is nothing wrong with getting help."
No amount of 'help' could erase what happened to me. I would always walk with the wound. I kept quiet. I had never revealed what happened to anyone. He was the only one who knew something bad had happened to me.
His eyes were filled with emotion. "Deal with the issue and stop taking drugs to mask it."
Feeling self-conscious, I tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear. I didn't want anyone to know what happened. It had to stay firmly in my past where it couldn't affect my future.
"Is that what you did?" I asked before I realized I had spoken out loud.
He shook his head. "Mine is different. I deserve the pain."
I frowned. What had happened to his sister that he felt responsible for it?
"How do you know I don't deserve what happened to me?"
He studied me for a moment. "I just know." That made my stomach flutter.
"I'm not perfect, I've made mistakes," I argued. My most recent mistake was getting Connor to meddle in his background.
