Page 51 of Surviving Slater
The sound of footsteps going past the door of my room reminded me of the bodyguard who was getting more and more worried. If Slater couldn't get ahold of me, would he try and call Matthew? Or worse, would he come by to check on me?
It didn't sound like Slater but I didn't want to take any chances.
I'm fine, I typed out the message to Slater, hoping it would ease his feeling of responsibility over what had happened. But would it be enough? I mulled over it for a few more minutes before I sent the text message without adding additional text.
It had to be enough. I dropped my phone onto my bed before I put my head into my hands. Thinking back to my first encounter with Slater, when my issues had halted our night together, reminded me he wasn't in this with me for anything other than the physical connection we had. He didn't want to know about my problems, so the less he knew the better.
If he knew how messed up I was he would have avoided me from the start. I rubbed my face and dropped my hands. Inhaling a deep breath, I held it for a few seconds before releasing it.
I had to figure a way to get through this without anyone discovering my secret. I didn't want to share it or feel obligated to do so with the people who cared about me so they would understand my actions.
I just wanted to be left alone.
Chapter Thirteen
As much asI wanted to stay in my room and shut out the outside world while I worked my way through the memories that had molded my life from an early age, my stomach grumbled.
I put my hand to my midriff. I didn't want to leave. Glancing at the door, I wondered if Matthew was still camped outside in the hall. He hadn't left the apartment. There had been no sound of the front door opening or closing, which meant he was probably still around.
Still only dressed in an oversized shirt and sleep shorts, I walked to the door. Taking a sharp breath, I exhaled it quickly to build up the courage to open it. The soft click of the door opening sped up my pulse as I opened it slowly. It was too much to hope I could get something to eat from the kitchen without bumping into my concerned roommate.
I looked around but there was no one. Quietly I walked to the kitchen. I got some cereal out and poured some into a bowl.
"Jordan," Matthew said, and I put my hand to my heart.
"Geez, you scared me," I told him, trying to catch my breath.
"Sorry," he said, stepping forward, but I backed away. He stopped. "I didn't mean to."
His perceptive eyes scanned me. I felt like he was seeing more than I wanted him to. Could he see how messed up I felt inside?
"I can make you something to eat," he offered, looking past me to the bowl filled with cereal.
"No…I'm okay," I said as my hand dropped from my chest. My heartbeat was slowing down.
"You look like crap." Self-consciously I reached up a hand and smoothed my hair.
"Sorry," he said, taking a step closer, "I didn't mean that."
I shrugged, forcing myself not to take the instinctive step back. I felt worse on the inside.
"I'm really worried about you," he said with a frown. "Tell me what's wrong so I can fix it."
I pressed my lips together, my hands clasped together as I faced him. How I wished it were possible.
"I wish it was that easy." It came out in a whisper and I swallowed hard to keep my emotions from seeping outside my protective screen to the world.
He studied me for several moments. "The only person who keeps coming to mind is Slater. Before he came over last night you were fine. And now…"
I remained silent.
"I know you said he didn't do anything but you can tell me if he did," he said. His eyes hardened as my mind raced to catch up with what he was implying.
My eyes caught his tightening fist.
"Slater didn't do anything to me," I assured him, not wanting to drag Slater into this. "This has nothing to do with him."
"Then what happened?" All anger was wiped from him and all that remained was the concern in his eyes.
