Page 50 of Loving Bad
Sin threw him a glare but my brother ignored it while he waited for me with his arms crossed over his chest. More often than not, Connor acted like a father and not a brother. I let out a sigh and walked over to collect my bag nearby the door. Once I picked it up, I looked at Sin. He couldn't even look me in the eye. I felt myself tremble for a moment before I took a deep breath and buried my heartache down deep to deal with later when I was alone.
"Don't let Jordan go back to the dorm. Tell her I will call her a little later," I told him.
He nodded his head as he still held the door handle.
"Thanks for everything," I said softly as I hesitated in the doorway for a moment. I wanted him to say something.
"See you around," he said as his eyes held mine. There was no emotion in them and it sounded like he couldn't wait to get rid of me. With that final sentence, he made it abundantly clear that we were over and I felt a pain in my chest.
It hurt like I knew it would. I will never know how I managed keep myself together as I turned and walked out of the house to my brother. The door closed behind me as my brother pulled me into a hug. I felt the sting of tears as my brother pulled back slightly to scan my face.
"I'm so glad you're okay," he said, sounding relieved as I struggled to fight my tears of heartache. My brother mistook my tears for something else entirely and pulled me into another hug.
"It's okay," he soothed as he hugged me tighter.
For the moment, I wasn't okay. I was experiencing my first heartbreak. When I'd started things with Sin, I knew there was a possibility it would end up the way it had. But the reality of the heartache was much worse than I'd ever anticipated. My brother pulled away from me and ushered me into a waiting car. I brushed my tears off my cheeks as I stared unseeing at the scenery that passed as we drove to the hotel where my brother was staying.
I was sitting in my brother's hotel suite while he was pacing up and down, trying to talk me into going back home with him. The suite was big, with a sofa facing a flat-screen TV. It had two adjoining rooms. It was hard to concentrate on my brother's lecturing voice when all I wanted to do was climb into a bed and pull the covers over my head to ignore the outside world while I tried to figure out how I was going to deal with my broken heart.
"It's not safe here," he stated. He'd already said that thirty times in the last hour.
"I'm not going to live in fear because someone is stalking me," I said, refusing to budge. This was my life to live and I wasn't going to let a stalker or my overprotective brother stop me from living it how I wanted. I wasn't stupid—I knew I had to be careful—but I wasn't going to allow the stalker to scare me.
"I told you to hire a bodyguard and I will stay in a rented apartment instead of the dorm," I tried, renegotiating with my brother. He stood with hands on his hips, glaring at me. It was at times like this that he felt more like my father than my brother.
"Fine," he said, throwing his hands up in the air with frustration. "I'll get a place big enough for you, Jordan and the bodyguard."
"And the bodyguard?" I questioned.
"The bodyguard will stay with the two of you in the apartment to keep you safe," he explained.
I saw that determined look in his face and I just nodded my head. I didn't have the energy for more fighting. I'd won the battle but not the war. I was going to stick out like a sore thumb with a bulky bodyguard following me around school, but it would keep my brother happy and it would keep me safe. He ran an agitated hand through his hair as I stood up and walked over to him.
"I'm not trying to be difficult," I told him as I reached for his hands. He was so stressed and I felt guilty that it was because of me.
"I just want to be able to live my life," I added. His expression softened slightly as he pulled me into a hug.
"I love you and I just don't want anything to happen to you," he reminded me. "When I thought I'd lost you before, I..."
He pulled away and looked down at me.
"I never want to feel that again," he said hoarsely. It was hard to keep my own emotions in check at the visible emotion on his face.
"I'll be fine," I assured him and I swallowed hard. They were just words because there was no way to guarantee I’d be safe, even with a bodyguard. I could cross the road and get hit by a bus. I was determined to ensure that the life I had, no matter how long I had, was mine to live as I wanted.
"Did you read the folder I gave you on your friend?" was my brother's next question. I was hoping he wouldn't bring it up, but I'd been wrong. I pulled away from him and took a step back.
"Sin is none of your business," I stated with determination to keep my brother out of my private life. I crossed my arms and glared at my meddling brother.
He gave me a look of disbelief.
"You've got to be kidding me," he said as he rubbed his hands over his face. I pressed my lips together. I was going to stand my ground. It didn't matter that whatever arrangement we'd had was gone and the likelihood was I wouldn't see much of him again. The thought made my chest hurt.
"It's my life and my choice."
