Page 98 of Loving Bad
"I'm not going to school today," I told him.
I expected him to argue or ask why, but instead he said, "Okay, where are we going, then?"
I held his gaze and said, "I need to talk to Sin."
He didn't seem to be that surprised as he nodded his head.
"Okay," he replied and I felt relieved that I didn't have to explain why. I didn't want to tell anyone else about Sin's past. Besides, it wasn't any of their business. Jordan was sleeping in and didn't have class till much later, so it left Matthew and me on our own, drinking our coffee.
"Are you ready?" he asked as he set his empty coffee mug down on the counter.
"Yes," I said. I was nervous.
The drive to Sin's house was quiet. I was lost in my thoughts and Matthew didn't try and make conversation. It was evident that I had too much on my mind to be interested in small talk. Along with the swirl of emotions inside of me, I began to feel more and more nervous the closer we got. By the time Matthew pulled the car up in front of Sin's house, I was beyond nervous.
"You sure you need to do this?" asked Matthew as he took in my body language.
I nodded my head and unbuckled my seatbelt.
"Are you sure he’s even going to be here?" he asked.
"He’ll be here," I answered, knowing that he was probably waiting for me to show up.
"Do you need me to go in with you?" he asked when I hesitated with my hand on the door handle.
"No, I have to do this alone," I said, opening the door and getting out of the car.
Matthew remained in the car and watched me climb the steps. In front of the door, I gave myself one more pep talk before I knocked and held my breath, waiting for Sin to answer it.
Sin finally opened the door. He looked anxious. He was still obviously convinced that I wouldn't be able to see past what I'd read in his folder.
"Tay," he said and stood back, inviting me into his house with the sweep of his hand.
I didn't like his house anymore. There was something in it that was forever tied to Eric. No matter how hard I tried not to think about him, I couldn't stop the thoughts of him or kidnapping and confinement.
"Don't be nervous," he said as he studied me. "I got rid of my other roommate. Only Slater and I live here now."
He was trying to ease my fear, but it didn't work.
"Would you rather talk upstairs in my room?" he asked when he noticed I was still agitated.
"Yes," I whispered.
He climbed the stairs and I followed behind to his room. I walked into his room and I immediately felt safe. In his room the only memories I had were of the two of us. From the first awkward encounter to when I'd lost my virginity to him. I'd fallen in love with him in this room.
He closed the door and turned to face me.
"You read the file." It wasn't a question; it was a statement.
I bit my lip as I nodded. Several seconds passed in silence. There was so much to sort out between us and I didn't know where to start. His eyes watched me for the slightest emotion to gauge how I'd taken the information.
"There wasn't a lot in that file that my imagination hadn't already conjured up," I began to say. "I know which part you were scared I would find out about."
"Dealing drugs," he finished for me and I saw the resignation in his face.
I nodded. The guys who'd murdered my parents had been high on drugs at the time they'd committed the crime. That was the reason why he'd felt I wouldn't be able to forgive him for it.
"Why?" I asked, needing him to explain it to me. A guy who dealt drugs didn't fit in with the person who'd watched me the night my drink got spiked. He dropped his gaze to the floor.
