Page 95 of Loving Bad
"I had to do something. You won't answer my calls or return my texts," he said, sounding a little hurt.
It took me a few moments to realize that Matthew had let Sin into the apartment. Why had Matthew done that? I would definitely be having words with him when I was finished with Sin.
"This isn't fair," I told him, feeling angry that he was trying to force something that was just going to hurt the two of us.
"Who said I had to play by the rules?" he shot back, giving me a fierce look.
He was making this whole thing so much harder. Didn't he know I was doing the best thing for the both of us? When I'd decided to shut him out, I'd done it for his benefit as well.
"And I'm not leaving until you hear me out," he told me.
I held his piercing gaze and I saw the determination in his eyes. Whether I wanted to or not, I was going to have to hear what he had to say.
"Fine," I said in a clipped tone. I sat down on my bed with my arms crossed, waiting for him to talk. It was then that I recognized the folder he held in his hands. It was the background check Connor had done on him. Why had he brought that with him? Sin closed the bedroom door and turned to face me.
"How did you get Matthew to let you in?" I asked, feeling a little betrayed by my friend.
"I called him. He gave me a chance to tell him why I needed to speak to you and, well, here I am," he explained, sweeping my room with his gaze.
So Matthew thought that whatever Sin had to say was important enough to go against my decision?
"I'm listening," I said, feeling hurt that they'd done this behind my back.
I had no choice but to listen to what he had to say. But I wasn't convinced that anything he could say would change my mind. It all boiled down to the fact that he'd left me. He hadn't given me a chance to explain and he'd left without a backward glance. If I'd meant anything to him, he wouldn't have been able to walk away like he had. I wasn't convinced that anything he could say was going to change that. I was curious, though, as to why he had the folder with him.
"You have it in your head that I just came back because I was concerned and because I felt guilty," he started, taking a step closer.
The way he looked at me pulled at my heart. Didn't he know he was making it so much more difficult for me to do the right thing? I pressed my lips together.
"What I feel is so much more than that," he stated, making my heart skip a beat. I wanted so badly to believe.
He held the folder in both of his hands, and then his eyes dropped from mine to the folder he held.
"I know you didn't read the folder," he said so softly for a moment that I thought I'd misheard him.
"Why do you suddenly believe me now?" I asked. How could he know that now for sure, despite the fact that I already told him before that I hadn’t? I remembered how upset he'd been when he'd discovered the folder in my room. He'd been so convinced that I'd read it, he'd left without giving me an opportunity to explain. It had pushed him to leave town, hadn't it?
"I don't understand," I murmured as I looked at the puzzle pieces in my mind that suddenly didn't seem to fit together.
If he knew I hadn't read the folder, why had he left? It didn't make any sense. I dropped my arms to my side as I kept my eyes fixed on him.
"I want to explain everything to you, but I think you need to read it for yourself," he said, holding out the folder to me. My gaze dropped to the folder he was holding.
He'd been so upset about it. Why would he now hand it to me and tell me to read it?
"Take it," he instructed and I took the folder from him and held it with both hands. "I want you to read it."
I studied the folder for a few moments before I looked back up at him. He was nervous. His tongue flickering against his lip ring was a tell-tale sign.
"I don't need to know about your past," I stated with a sigh. "It doesn't matter to me."
I felt the way I did and nothing in that folder was going to change that. He'd had a rough start in life so I hadn't expected him to be squeaky clean, but I knew what type of person he was now and that had mattered to me more.
"I know," he said. He looked resigned. He wanted me to read what was in the folder even though he looked scared as to how I was going to handle it.
"I'm not sure why you want me to read it now," I said to him.
"I never wanted you to know any of it," he replied honestly as he ran an agitated hand through his hair. "But you've left me no choice. It’s the only way for you to understand why I didn't think I was good enough for you and that was the reason why I left. I didn't leave because I didn't care about you."
