Page 9 of Loving Bad
"I knew I shouldn't have left you," she mumbled to me as she stood up and gave me a hug.
"It wasn't your fault, I'm a big girl," I replied as I hugged her back. She pulled away slightly and looked at me with a serious face.
"But that's the thing. You might look like a big girl, but you lack the experience that girls our age have," she said.
She was right, but this was the whole purpose of going out and experiencing all the things that life had to offer, even if some of those things were bad. I wasn't going to be scared to do the things I wanted to because I feared the bad that could happen.
"I know that you think Sin is a good guy because of what he did last night, but one good deed in among all the bad ones doesn't mean he's any less dangerous," she informed me, watching me closely to see my reaction.
"I know."
She was just telling me this because she was worried I would think he was a good guy, but I already knew that he was dangerous. If I allowed him anywhere near my heart, he would break it, and I didn't need Jordan to tell me that.
"Okay, lecture over," she announced. "Let's go and get some lunch."
"Sure."
We left the dorm and went to the cafeteria.
Later, when I got back, I realized I'd left my phone behind again. I glanced down at the screen and saw twenty missed calls from my brother, Connor. I let out a sigh before I dialed his number. I was preparing for the inevitable lecture that I was going to get when he answered on the second ring.
"Where have you been? I've been going out of my mind with worry," he lectured me in a worried tone. He'd had time to work himself up.
I rolled my eyes before I answered.
"I'm fine. I just forgot my phone behind when I went to get some something to eat," I explained to him.
"You left it behind! What if you'd needed to call for help and you didn't have your phone?" he continued in an angry tone. I bit my lip to stop myself from telling him to quit being so dramatic.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled, knowing there was no use trying to argue with him. As much as I wanted to break free from his hold, I understood why he was so protective, so I tried to put up with it. It was frustrating at times, but I knew he was doing it out of love.
I loved my brotherly dearly—he was the only family I still had left—but his overprotectiveness was suffocating me. If he had his way, he'd have me under lock and key.
"If you're going to be irresponsible I'll hire someone to watch you," he threatened. He was starting to pull out the big guns. When I'd first made the decision to go to college, he'd fought me on it. After months of arguing about it, he'd finally conceded, but he'd told me that if at any time he felt that I wasn't careful he'd hire a bodyguard to keep me safe. To an outsider, it could look overdramatic, but if you knew the truth you'd understand why he was the way he was. As much as I hated it, I understood.
"Please don't. I promise not to forget my phone again," I said, trying to reason with him. There was no way I wanted someone following me around the college. It would attract attention that I didn't want and I wanted to have a normal college experience—and normal didn't include a bodyguard.
If he knew what happened last night, he'd been on the first plane here to take me home. But home was his house, not mine, and I wanted to make my own way in life. This was my chance, and I wasn't going to let him ruin it. I was determined to be able to make my own decisions even if they led to a few mistakes in the process. He let out a big sigh, and there were a few moments of silence.
"You know I do this because I love you," he explained, sounding like he'd managed to calm down a bit.
"Yeah, I know. I love you too," I replied, sitting down on my bed and leaning against the wall as I waited for him to say more.
He worried so much. I wondered if all the stress was going to put him into an early grave one day.
"So how are things going?" he asked, trying to make conversation. He phoned me every day to check on me.
"Good."
There was no way I could tell him what happened last night, or he'd show up and drag me back home.
"You okay with the workload?" he asked.
I began to fidget with the end of the blanket that covered my bed. The stitching was coming undone.
"Yeah, so far so good," I said. I was so glad to be out from under his protective presence that college and all the studying was easier than dealing with him.
I know it was horrible to think that, but it was the truth. Despite the fact that I knew his protectiveness came from the fact that he loved me and was scared to lose me, it was suffocating. He'd thought he'd nearly lost me once, and that fear pushed him to take every precaution he could to ensure my safety.
