Page 48 of Loving Bad
"What happened?" I asked, unable to stop myself.
"It isn't my story to tell."
My heart broke a little more for Slater. The next time he hugged me I would hug a little tighter.
"Did you tell Jordan about all the strange stuff that had been happening?" he asked, changing the subject. I rolled onto my back and let out a sigh.
"No."
"Even after the incident with your underwear?" he asked. I could hear the shock mixed with anger in his voice.
I remained silent, knowing he was getting angry. How could I explain that I hadn't thought it would lead to me being attacked? Never once before today's attack did I think it would escalate.
"Why didn't you tell anyone?" he asked, trying to figure out why I'd kept quiet.
"Because at the time I didn't think it was a big deal." It was a weak explanation, but it was all I had.
"Did you think ignoring it would make it go away?" he asked, sitting up. I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was angry and agitated.
"Hey, I've had a rough day and I don't need you lecturing me on top of everything else," I bit back, sitting up as well. I kept the sheet against my chest with both hands to cover my nakedness as I rubbed my forehead.
"I'm sorry," he apologized. "It’s just that there is a naivety about you that I've never seen in a person before."
I couldn't tell him why I was the way I was.
"So naive that I keep worrying that something really bad is going to happen to you," he said. I had mixed feelings about that statement. I should be happy with the fact that he cared about me, but the way he said it hurt. It was like he didn't want to be burdened with worrying about me.
"Like not taking drinks from strangers."
He was right. If I'd been a normal teenager growing up, I would have known that, but I hadn't.
"It's like you haven't experienced anything that most teenagers have and I can't figure out why."
He was starting to figure everything out and I could feel myself start to panic. Even though it was dark and he wouldn't be able to read my expression, I dropped my gaze in an attempt to hide my secret. The cop earlier this evening had recognized my name for a reason and I was just lucky he couldn't remember why it had seemed familiar to him.
"You're not going to tell me, are you?" he said softly. The moonlight illuminated him as he crossed his arms over his chest.
My silence answered his question. I couldn't tell him.
"You're not going to tell me anything, are you?" he asked tightly. "I bared a part of my soul to you, but that doesn't make any difference."
Guilt made my heart suddenly feel very heavy in my chest and I swallowed hard. If I told him, it would ruin everything. Was it asking too much to want to start over somewhere where no one knew what had happened? I wouldn't have to see those sympathetic looks that reminded me daily of what I'd been through. I pulled my knees to my chest as I lifted my eyes to Sin. He moved off the bed and he picked something up off the floor. He pulled his jeans up and then he turned to face me.
"I should’ve known better," was all he said before he walked out of his room.
I rested my forehead against my knees as I felt the sting of tears. I'd really messed things up. Just when I was getting to know him a little better, he'd pulled away from me completely. And could I blame him? No, I couldn't. He was right. He'd opened up to me and in turn I'd refused to let him in.
I felt my heart crack a little. I'd done it to myself and I wasn't sure if there was any way to fix the damage I'd done. Sin didn't strike me as the type to blab about his childhood so he'd trusted me enough to talk to me about it. I had my reasons for not wanting to tell him about my past and none of them had anything to do with trust, because I trusted him with my life.
A few quiet tears slid down my face and I wiped them away. I'd really messed things up and I was pretty sure our arrangement was over. I doubted that Sin believed in second chances so even if I revealed my secret to him, it still wouldn't fix things between us. I lay down in his bed and hugged a pillow as I buried my tear-streaked face in it. I inhaled him and held onto the precious memories he'd given me.
