Page 103 of Loving Bad
"But I saw you with Slater and that girl," I reminded him as I remembered feeling so hurt. My brain knew the decision I'd made was for one night, but my heart had hurt anyway.
"I didn't like the way you made me feel. I felt vulnerable and I hated feeling like that. I tried to move on, I really did, but there was no getting over you."
"Did you sleep with that girl?" I blurted the question out before I could stop myself. I knew if he said yes that it would hurt.
"No, I couldn't do it."
I felt so relieved that I let out the breath I'd been holding.
"I haven't slept with anyone else since our first night together," he admitted softly. My eyes widened in shock.
"Really?" I asked, feeling a little stunned at the unexpected revelation.
"Yes."
I was speechless.
"When I saw you with Caleb, I was so angry," he said. I felt a little guilty for making him feel that way, but I had no way of knowing at the time how he felt about me.
"And you thought I needed a rich, preppy boy?" I asked, remembering what he'd said to me.
"I tried to convince myself that was the reason why you were with him. It would’ve hurt more to know that you were with him because you liked him," he admitted.
"I was trying to fill the hole that you left in my heart and I shouldn't have used someone else to do that."
Hindsight was always so clear. We'd both done so many things wrong and the chances were good that we weren't done making mistakes.
"There were more than a few times after you went missing that I thought I would never be able to hold you again," he said. In that moment, in the depths of his eyes, I saw the fear that he'd felt.
"You don't have to think about that anymore," I reassured him, taking his hands into mine. "I'm okay now."
"Everyone was getting more and more scared that you weren't coming back, but it wasn't something I could accept," he explained. I remained silent. He clearly needed to tell me.
"I called Jeff as soon as I found out you were missing. I told him to find you."
There was a solemn silence that settled between us at the reminder of what I'd been through. I looked at him as he watched me for a reaction.
"I was so scared when he found me in the street," I said, trying to block the fear that encompassed that moment.
"If the cops hadn't gotten to Eric first, I'm not sure I could’ve let him live for what he did to you," he said in such a deadly tone that I knew without a doubt he meant every word.
"Then I'm glad the cops got him first," I replied.
He studied me for a moment.
"If I hadn't killed him, I definitely would’ve made him wish he'd never touched you," he told me.
"And you would have been up for assault. With your previous criminal record they wouldn't have been lenient," I reminded him.
He gave me a look that said he would have still made Eric regret what he did.
"It's finished," I said, but the truth was it wasn't. I was hoping that Eric would just confess so I would be able avoid a trial and the press that came with it.
"But I'm so thankful that you are here with me now," he whispered as he pulled me closer, and I put my hands against his hard chest.
"Me too."
There had been so many times through that ordeal when I hadn't believed I would ever survive it. What happened just reinforced the idea of living my life to the fullest and relishing every moment I had. And now that I had someone as special as Sin to share it with, it would make every moment sweeter.
