Page 230 of Unhinged Omega

Irritation and shame flash across his face. "I don'tpayto fuck anyone. And it doesn't work that way. I've tried. It has to be an alpha."

"Right," I mumble, flinching at the rueful note in his voice.

As uncomfortable as this is for me, it's worse for him.

I take another step closer, trying to ignore the way my body responds to his scent. This feels so fucked up. He's like a brother to me. Even if I were willing to confront what being attracted to another alpha—to anotherman—says about me, there are some lines you just don't cross.

I have few enough people in my life who matter. I can't risk this. Can't risk him.

But looking at him now, trembling with need, skin flushed and eyes desperate, I wonder if I'm protecting him or myself.

"You should go," he says, but his voice has lost its edge. There's something pleading in it now, and I can't tell if he's pleading for me to leave or stay.

Ishouldgo. I know I should. But instead, I sit cautiously on the edge of the bed, keeping a careful distance between us. "When did it start this time?"

He laughs, the sound half-manic. "Last night. Why do you think I missed the fucking shipment?"

Guilt twists in my chest. While I was busy being pissed, he was here, alone, riding out another one of these episodes. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What would you have done?" he asks, eyes flashing. "Hold my hand? Pat my head? Tell me to take a cold shower?"

"Well… have you?—"

"Yes, I've taken a cold shower!" he snaps, wincing suddenly as he holds his side like it hurts.

Fuck.

"I could have—" What? WhatcouldI have done? There's nothing medical for this. His body is reacting to trauma, to the years of conditioning that brothel forced on him. They turned him into this, and I don't know how to fix it. "I don't know. Something."

Raven's eyes narrow, suddenly sharp despite the fever glazing them. "There is something you could do. You could fuck me."

My heart hammers against my ribs. For a moment, I'm tempted—sofucking tempted—to take what he's offering.

Then I remember finding him that night, kneeling half-naked and collared at the feet of that alpha. Remember the vacant look in his eyes, the way he responded mechanically tocommands. How he looked at me when he came to my room that night, ready for me to use him the way everyone else always had.

I can't.

"That's not going to happen," I say, voice rough as gravel.

The pain of rejection flashes across his face before he masks it with a sneer. "That's what I thought. So get out and let me suffer in peace."

He's right. Every second I stay makes this worse for both of us. But I can't make myself walk away from him when he's like this. "There's got to be someone else. Someone safe."

"Like who?" he spits. "One of your goons? The ones who look at me like I'm a piece of meat or a ticking time bomb? The ones who only tolerate me because they're afraid of what you'll do to them if they don't?"

Each word is like a bucket of ice dumped on me. Is that how he sees his place here? As tolerated? As nothing more than an extension of me?

"That's not?—"

"It is," he cuts me off. "You think I don't hear the shit they say when you're not around? The things they call me?"

Rage flashes through me, hot and fierce. It's a welcome departure from all the other emotions I have no fucking clue how to deal with. "Who?" I demand, my voice guttural. "I'll?—"

"You'll what?" he interjects bitterly. "You'll cut his tongue out and pin it to the wall to make an example out of him? So they can hate meandstill think those things?"

I start to argue, but thatwasprobably going to be my chosen mode of punishment. He knows me. Better than anyone.

Better than I'd like.

---