Page 9 of Learning to Love

In the five days since I last heard from Sam, I took Daisy out for ten walks, watched exactly four K-Dramas, three repeats of Pride and Prejudice - the BBC version - and ate two large tubs of Death by Chocolate ice cream. But who’s counting?

Since Monday, I’ve been back to work at Cheeky Monkeys daycare, and the kids are taking up all my time. They’re all sweethearts, and they challenge me in so many ways. I can’t imagine my life without them.

I’ve secretly Googled Sam. Feeling a bit odd, learning things about him that he hasn’t told me. His family, his mum and dad, his brother. Hismanycompetition prizes. It’s like he’s on a one-way mission to winning anything and everything, sailing or otherwise.

The biggest shocker of all—his failed engagement. Had to scrape my jaw off the floor. Jealousy strangled me, and I don’t think it’s loosened its hold ever since. I don’t know how I hadn’t heard of this before. He met someone and fell in love enough to propose. Doesn’t match up to the Sam I’ve met briefly. But it’s hard to really know a man you’ve met only once, no matter how many orgasms he gives you.

Laura Killarney is a gold medal Olympian in rowing. In the photos of them together she looks nearly as tall as him and so confident. They are much more alike than I care to admit. She’sverygood-looking, whereas I … I'm short. I go to the gym when I remember, which is never. I don't know a thing about sailing. The list could go on.

They were engaged, then broke it off a short while before the wedding. Wouldn’t be surprised if Sam left her without a word, like what he did to me.

I’m on kitchen duty today at daycare, and for a while I can afford to daydream about Sam as I prepare the kids’ meals and tidy up. What’s he been up to this past week? Has he thought about me at all? Gracie called on Monday to snoop. I told her Sam and I weren’t suited and left it at that. She seemed quite disappointed. She prides herself on her matchmaking skills.

The clock on the kitchen wall strikes 4:00 p.m. Another day of work is coming to an end soon. I pack up the rubbish bags and carry them to the big bins outside. I’m always amazed at the amount of rubbish a small center like ours can produce, even though we’re always thinking of ways to reuse and recycle.

The rubbish bins are always a pain, taller than me and too full. I sling a bag over the side of the bin and it gets stuck. I push, cringing at the smell.

“Let me help you with that.”

I freeze. Can’t be. But the deep, familiar voice sends tingles down my spine like only one man can do. I swivel my head around, and that very man’s standing right next to the shiny black SUV. Sam Northcroft.Damn.

I look him up and down, incredulously. He’s wearing his usual black combo of shorts, t-shirt, cap and sunglasses. He’s a bit more tanned, and stubble covers his jaw and cheeks. Still makes my heart race and my mouth water. Still maddening.

“Why are you here? I’m working.” My tone is short. I can’t let him off the hook easily. He can’t just breeze in like Prince Charming and expect me to fall at his feet after not a single word for five days, and after leaving like he left. What kind of person just shows up like this?

He takes his sunglasses off, and the dark circles under his eyes tell a grim story. “I’m sorry. I needed to see you. We could grab a drink, talk. When do you finish for the day?”

My resolve crumbles in an instant. Tayla says I’m a softie, and she’s right. I’d love to see a smile on his face.

“I finish at 4:30 today. I’ll see you in a little bit.” I go back inside, fully aware of his blue-gray gaze boring into my back.

Over the next half an hour, I try my best not to look out the kitchen window. I didn’t see him go back to his car. I didn’t see him checking his phone. I didn’t see him looking at the daycare entrance several times. I also didn’t see him sighing, and I absolutely did not wish I could kiss him there and then ...

Deciding I’d tortured the both of us enough, I pack my bag and hastily say goodbye to a couple of the other teachers. They haven’t noticed someone’s waiting for me outside, and I hope to keep it that way.

When I get to Sam’s car, I look through the window. He’s fallen asleep, head back, auburn hair peeking from under the cap, strong arms crossed, mouth slightly open. He looks so vulnerable, so tender. I think I'm more than halfway to falling in love with him, and it’s only the second time I've met him. I’m treading dangerous waters.

“Hey.” I touch his arm through the open window and speak gently, trying not to startle him. He opens his eyes, realizes where he is, and jumps out to open the door on my side.

I don’t make any move to get into his car, instead I take two steps towards the gate. “How about we take a walk to a place down here on the beachfront? Not far, maybe five minutes’ walk.”

He's unsure for a moment, then leaves his car and locks it, pulls his cap further down his face, and adjusts his sunglasses. “Let’s do this.” He looks like he’s getting ready for battle. I’m curious why he’s on edge.

We walk side by side towards the beachfront, and I wonder if he’s going to try holding my hand. After how he left on Sunday, I doubt it.

“So what have you been up to?” I keep my tone light, no reproach. The implication is there, in the background. Will he take the bait though?

“I’ve been up North with the team, training.” With the cap covering his face, and his dark sunglasses shadowing his eyes, I can’t tell what he’s thinking.

A family with two teen boys point at us excitedly and make their way towards us. Sam must have noticed them as well. He tenses up, his jaw sets, and he touches the small of my back. I haven't seen him like this.

An older man, probably the dad, steps forward, a star-struck grin on his face. “Sam! Sam Northcroft! You’re a legend, mate. The boys want to be just like you. They’ve been sailing since they were five years old. Can we have a photo, please?” The dad is so excited, and I can’t help but feel so happy they get to meet one of their idols.

Sam poses with them. “Well done, boys. Keep at it!” He take my hand and starts walking fast.

I can barely keep up. “Slow down, please. Your legs are longer than mine.”

He relaxes slightly and walks slower, but he doesn’t let go of my hand.

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