Page 5 of Learning to Love

Sam looks at me, very conflicted, but he seems to have made a decision. “Ok, I’ll have some cereal, then I’m definitely heading off.”

“I bet you’re ravenous.” The words came out before I could stop them, so I try not to look at him while I prepare a bowl of Weetbix cereal with milk. Somehow, he doesn’t seem the sugar add-on type.

He dwarfs our small kitchen table with his presence and gulps down large spoonfuls.

Daisy chooses that time to burst in through the doggy door and comes to me for rubs.

I sit on the floor, and start one of my usual chats with Daisy. “Have you been outside, Daisy-Boo? How’s the weather? Any good digging this morning?”

Sam eats in silence, looking at us like we’re not all there. “I don’t know anything about you,” he says quietly.

I raise my head. “What do you want to know?” I leave Daisy on the floor and sit next to Sam at the table.

“Everything.”

I laugh, but he seems quite serious. He almost avoids looking into my eyes.

“Okay. Ellie Tennyson, 25 years old. Grew up North, towards Matakana. I’m a preschool teacher at Cheeky Monkeys in Takapuna. I like roses and chocolate. My favorite color is yellow. Just an ordinary girl, really.”

He chuckles at that and continues eating. In the morning light, his hair looks a bit darker than last night. I want to ask him the same question he just asked me. I want to learn about his likes and dislikes, but the key turns into the lock, and Daisy bursts into action.

A voice calls out from the front door. “Ellie, there’s an SUV outside blocking our driveway. I had to park right on the road. Feel like keying the motherfucker’s car. He probably has the smallest dick ever and feels the need to compensate.” Tayla, my flatmate, has chosen this very moment to come back home, and boy, she’s huffing and puffing.

She sees Sam sitting at the table and her jaw drops. “I didn’t know you had guests. I think I’ll come back later.” She mouths, “I’m sorry,” gathers her duffel bags, and steps back in retreat.

Sam stands swiftly. “Nah, you’re alright. It’s time I went home. Busy day ahead.” He strides to the door.

I realize I haven’t given him my mobile number. Would feel a bit awkward asking Gracie for his. I quickly scribble my number on a corner of an old grocery shopping list and thrust it in his hand as he’s about to exit through the front door. “Didn’t give you my number. Here it is. Between the sausages and tomatoes.” I keep my tone light, though I’m dying a little inside because I know deep in my soul he’s probably not going to call or message me. Just like the rest of them.

He takes the scrap of paper. “Thanks. See you.” He retreats to his car. No kiss, no hug, no acknowledgment of what happened last night. And this morning. He drives away without a second glance.

“What. The. Fuck. Was. That?” Tayla’s sunglasses have fallen on her nose, her light pink hair looks wild, and her hands are on her hips.

I don’t know what to say. The truth is probably better out. “We met at Gracie and Paddy’s yesterday evening. We hit it off, he came here. Stayed the night. Now he’s gone.” I take away his bowl and pack it into the dishwasher.

“You know who he looks like, right? That sailor guy. Corey somebody? One of that team we saw on TV a few weeks ago?” Tayla won’t let go until she’s satisfied her curiosity.

“This was Sam Northcroft, the quiet one. Corey is the dark-haired, outgoing one.” I busy myself in the kitchen, wiping down surfaces as tears gather in the corner of my eyes.

Tayla and I have been friends for far too long, and she notices straight away. “Hey, hey. Are you crying? Did he hurt you?” Every muscle in her body tenses up. She’d probably find out where he lives and bring back his balls in a bag if he’d hurt me physically.

“No, he was very good. VERY good.” I crack a joke through my tears.

She laughs. “So it’s like that, eh? Do you want to see him again?” She strokes my hair to soothe me. Daisy sits at my feet, sensing I need company.

“I do. I thought we had something special. I don’t think he’ll call.” Tears threaten to spill over again.

Tayla tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “You’ve been by my side through many fuck-ups. Now it’s my turn. I decree we have a do-nothing Sunday. Watch some Netflix. Actually follow through with a skincare regime. And more importantly, takeaways for dayyyyyyssss.” She blows me a kiss while sashaying away. “Let me put my pajamas on. We’re in for the day, us three girls. And a big fuck you to fuckboys with ridiculous cars and small dicks.”

I clear my throat.

“Fine, big dicks too.” She rolls her eyes, and we laugh. For a while, it seems like everything’s alright with the world again.

Chapter 3

Sam

Aspeed camera flashes on the Harbor Bridge, the main link between the northern suburbs to the town center. The tide is in, and the light winds are making the yachts bob up and down on the water's surface.

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