Page 19 of Learning to Love

A wave washes over her, and she's under.

"Ellie!" I scream and dive in, through the rip, to where she was just a second earlier. My only thought is I need to find her, I need to save her. The water is silty which is unhelpful, and the visibility is poor. I can barely see two feet ahead, so I flail my arms, hoping to touch Ellie. Panic threatens to claim my self control, and I struggle to stay calm. Panicking requires more air, and my lungs hurt already from the pressure. I can’t give up. Not now.

My fingers feel something solid, and before joy overtakes me, I lift Ellie up and out of the water. We take a big gulp of air. Her eyes are open, but she feels heavy in my embrace, limp from exhaustion. I work hard to keep us both afloat as the rip carries us towards the deep. It's only a couple of minutes, but it feels like hours. I draw upon my training in yachting, capsizing, mindfulness, and everything else I can think of to stay strong and get her to shore. When my feet hit the seafloor, I can finally fully breathe, finally hope.

We collapse on the sand and spend several moments trying to get our breath back, chests heaving. As soon as I'm able, I get up and inspect every inch of Ellie. Will I have to call an ambulance?

She looks at me with her soft brown eyes and grabs my hand. "You've saved my life, Sam. Oh my. Out there, I thought it was the end."

This is all too much. I stand up and pace away. The unfamiliar feeling of tears burns my eyes. This time, I saved her. What if I lost Ellie?

Like I lost Thea.

Ellie wraps her arms around me. I hug her tightly, like I don't want to ever let go.

Her teeth are chattering. "Shall we go back? I'm cold."

I kiss her again, we towel down, dress, and walk back, slower this time, past the massive Kauri trees, past the waterfall where we made love, and past the places where we took photos.

It's close to lunchtime, and I'm starting to think about the rest of the day. Driving back towards the Shore, I get an idea.

"Why don't I drive you home, you pick up some clothes and Daisy, and come to mine for the rest of today and tomorrow? I can drop you off home Sunday night." Fuck. We nearly drowned. I nearly lost her, and I refuse let her go, even if it’s to a different part of town.

She’s never stayed the weekend before, and after making it Instagram official, this is a big move. It means something for us, and she knows it. She must, the way she’s chewing her lip and eyeing me. Is she unsure? “Please?” My fingers twine with hers, handing my heart over completely.

Chapter 9

Ellie

My phone sits like a snake on the edge of Sam’s kitchen table where it’s been since I got here last night. I haven’t touched it. Turned it to silent, not wanting to know what awaited me—silence or chaos?

But it’s time. I can’t avoid it, the world, forever. I reach out, my hand quick as lightning, and I grab the phone, turning it over and on at the same time. Twelve missed calls, fifteen messages, and two hundred notifications from Instagram. Shit. Shit shit shit. “Shit.”

“Something wrong?” Sam’s voice floats in from the living room.

Color me surprised. My fifteen followers on Instagram has morphed into 3,000. I check my direct messages. A quick scroll through shows most of them are from shady weight loss businesses asking to collaborate. They’re all from yesterday, right after Sam brought me out of obscurity by announcing he was having a great time outdoors with me and tagging me in that photo.

One of the few texts I actually open and read is from Tayla, who messaged me almost immediately after Sam posted the picture. Stalker. She sent a screenshot and a few pointed question marks. I reply, "Yeah …" then slam the phone face down on the table. There's nothing else to tell her, really. It's quite straightforward. We're Instagram official. Luckily my parents don't have Instagram, so I have a few days left with them—maybe more if I can stretch it—before I have to explain what's going on.

I ignore my phone and focus on the omelettes I’m making for a hearty lunch. “Ready!” I call, and Sam joins me. My phone winks at me like some malicious demon from the tabletop, and I move it to the counter.

Sam’s phone buzzes all through lunch, but he seems unconcerned. His phone keeps buzzing, but he continues to ignore it.

He ignores it after lunch, too, and while we order takeout for dinner. He ignores the buzzing, still, as we choose a movie to watch - The Avengers.

The buzzing is like my own personal hell. I break. "I don't want to pry, but aren't you going to answer your phone? Could be something important."

He looks at me like it's a mad suggestion. But he picks up his phone, scrolls through it, then puts it down with a sigh. "Corey. And Mom."

I'm shocked that he could be so blasé about this. "Flick them a call. Could be something serious. It's important, Sam."

"Sit with me," he implores. Daisy and I curl on the sofa next to him. He makes the first phone call.

"Hey mate. Nah, all good … I wanted to show her off a bit." Sam winks at me, and I laugh. "See you on Monday back at the dock." He ends that call and gets ready for the one he seems the most uncertain about. His mum.

"Hey mom, it's Sam." He listens intently as his mother chatters away at length. His brow furrows. "She is special … No, she doesn't know." I hear his mum mention the name Thea, but it doesn't mean anything to me. I thought his ex’s name was Laura. Maybe I was mistaken. "I'll ask her." He covers the mobile speaker with his hand.

"I know it's a bit left field, but with Christmas around the corner, mum wants to know if you're coming down to theirs with me.” I try hard to read his expression. Does he want me to go with him? Is he just trying to be polite?

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