Page 25 of The End of Summer

I nodded. “You take Venmo?” I asked.

“Uh huh. I’m at Steve the Skeeve.”

I grimaced. Not wanting to be offensive, I didn’t respond.

“Old college nickname,” he added.

“Great,” I said. “I’ll send it over once we get off this call.”

“Good. I’ll get your gear to Big Mike.”

“Okay. Is there any, like, paperwork you need me to fill out?”

“Nope. We’re entirely off-the-books. Next Friday will be your trial. If you like it, and the girls like you, great. We’ll add you to the lineup. If not, we part ways, no hard feelings. Fair?”

“Sounds good,” I replied.

“Stripping’s not for everyone,” he told me.

“I’m sure you’re right,” I laughed. “But if it pays the bills…” my voice trailed off.

“Exactly,” the Skeeve agreed.

With that, we ended the Zoom call. I sent over the cash from my (dwindling) bank account and called Big Mike.

“You in?” he asked.

“I’m in,” I said.

“It’s easy money, dude. You’ll be fine.”

“You nevertold me the guy’s name was Steve the Skeeve. What the hell is that all about?”

“Oh, you know. Just jokes.”

“He said you’ll get me my clothes in advance.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll save you the trip of having to go meet up with him. What’s the character? Fireman? Pizza delivery guy?”

“Oh my God, gross. Is that actually a thing?”

Big Mike laughed. “You’d be surprised.”

“Well,” I replied, my voice down to a whisper, “I’m Zorro.”

“Bahahahaha!” Mike sputtered.

“Shut up, dick!”

He took a second to calm down. “Yo, my cheeks hurt now. Fucking Zorro. That’s classic, Brady. I can’t wait.”

“Thanks, man. I hate you, too.”

“You’ll be fine. I’ll get your outfit for you. I’ll grab it this weekend.”

I spent the next several days regretting the decision to try such a ridiculous get-rich-quick scheme. It was just really fucking hard to find a decent job when the season was already underway. In the resort world, my split from my dad had turned into fodder for the gossip mill, so none of the big chefs in the area wanted to work with me. The stories were so exaggerated, ranging from me screaming in his face in public dining to me pulling a butcher knife on him in the kitchen, like some kind of psychotic monster.

I got a Zoom interview for a Market Research Analyst position with a firm based in New York City, but it wasn’t for another two weeks (since the recruiter was on vacation) and would also require a second round interview livein midtown Manhattan, if I got that far in the process. That job had solid earning potential, but the hiring process would probably take the entire summer. See, that was the thing. The long-term employment opportunities were never a quick fix, and since I hadn’t really been prepared financially to get kicked out of my living situation at the hands of my fucknut father, I found myself struggling – and out of cash – a lot sooner than I expected to be. Sure, I could use my credit cards, but if there’s one thing I know from my background in economics, it’s not to abuse credit.Don’t spend what you don’t have, my freshman year econ professor warned. I always took that advice to heart.

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