Page 69 of The Fix-Up

I groaned.

“We need to start going through it. We haven’t even opened the door. Who knows what we’ll find in there? I’m not subbing tomorrow. I can start.”

My hands balled into fists. “Why are you in such a rush?”

“Why are you so set on waiting?”

“Because…because it seems like a real goodbye, okay?” I threw my hands up. “That room is basically one of the last things we have left of Ollie and once we go in there and go through his things, that’s it.”

Gil tilted his head. “That’s not true, you know.”

“I know,” I snapped. “But that’s how it feels.”

The thundering of tiny feet came from the hallway, jolting both of us.

“No running in the house, Oliver,” I yelled.

The thundering screeched to a halt and then started back again, with only slightly less enthusiasm. Oliver raced aroundthe couch and threw himself on my stomach. “Mommy. Come play dinosaurs with me. Please. Please. Please.”

Yawning, I nodded and set my feet on the ground. “You got it, bud.”

“How about we let your mom rest, and I’ll play?” Gil asked.

Oliver bounced on his feet. “Yes! Come on.” Without waiting, he took off at full steam to his room.

“You don’t have to do that.” I scrambled to my feet and suddenly I was standing mere inches from him. He did not take a step back.

“It’s not a big deal,” he said.

“But…” My voice trailed off. His eyes drifted down my face and stopped on my mouth. My heartbeat ratcheted up.

“You have some lotion on your face,” he said.

“Oh, where?” I rubbed my cheeks, hoping they didn’t look as red as they felt. “Did I get it?”

“No.” He pointed at a spot above his own mouth. “Right there.”

“Here?” I swiped my hand across my mouth. “Still there?”

“No, just, um…here.” He hesitated before reaching out a hand slowly. His thumb landed on a spot above my lip. I held perfectly still as he moved his finger, softly, carefully, brushing against my top lip in the process, and then his hand was gone.

It was such a small touch—safe, innocent—and yet, there was a funny little hitch in my breath. My eyes locked with his for one breath, then two. Neither of us moved. I swallowed and told myself to laugh this off immediately. It meant nothing.

“Thanks. I’m such a mess.” To prove my point, I pointed to the large red spot on my t-shirt. “Spaghetti accident.”

His head tilted to the side, eyes roaming my face in a way that made me want to squirm.

“Mr. Gil, are you coming?” Oliver shouted from his bedroom, breaking whatever strange moment we were having.

“You’re sure about this?” I asked.

“It’s fine.” He took a couple of steps backwards. “We both know I can pronounce the dinosaur names better than you, anyway.”

After he left, I reset the timer on my phone and then I closed my eyes and thought about that small innocent touch and for three more minutes, I let myself feel all the feelings.

TWENTY-EIGHT

Love is when you spread kindness to another.

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