Page 134 of The Fix-Up

Remember at Easter when my sister Aggie stayed the night? She happened to admire Fred the Sad Clown on a Bike. If you don’t know, Aggie works for a big auction house in Oklahoma City. She thought Fred looked familiar, so I let her take it back with her to get it checked out. It took her a while, but it turns out he was created by some fancy Italian artist. Hand-painted, one of a kind, and all that. He sold at auction for over two thousand dollars.

When I sent in photos of all the other clowns, Aggie was over the moon. There were a lot more valuable clowns in the bunch. A lot more. Who knew? Aggie put feelers out for someone who might want to buy the whole lot of them, and someone paid big money. This is your half. I hope you can use it to help with Mikey or to buy yourself a fancy iron for your clothes. I guess you could buy a whole lot of irons now if you wanted.

So, raise a glass to creepy clowns and the people who love them.

I hope you’re happy too, Gil.

Ellie

P.S. You’ll be happy to know after many weeks of consideration, Oliver finally settled on names for the kittens—Gilly and Mikey. Wonder where he got those?

P.P.S. I miss you.

P.P.P.S. I probably shouldn’t have told you that, but it’s the truth.

I waited an entire week before I mailed the letter to Gil. First, I had to track down his home address from the attorney who gave it to me after extorting a dozen muffins. After that, I put a stamp on it and took it to the Sit-n-Eat and set it on the desk in the office where it had been for the last four days.

For some reason, mailing that letter felt like a momentous step, like a final farewell to Gil. We’d always be connected. We were joint owners in the property, but that could all be done through the attorney. I didn’t have any other reason to reach out to him. Mailing that letter felt like the end.

Teddy showed up right as I was closing, in his usual happy-go-lucky mood. “How you doing, Ellie?”

“I think I’m doing okay,” I said as I set a plate of chicken fried steak in front of him. I wasn’t even lying either. Maybe for the first time in weeks, I did feel okay. I wasn’t sad or angry or depressed.

“That’s real good,” he said around a forkful of mashed potatoes.

“It is, isn’t it?” I grinned.

“Oh, shoot, I got something for you,” he said. He frantically patted at his shirt before he pulled out two photos from the front pocket. “Now this one is an old one I found.”

The photo showed three teenagers spread out on a blanket. I recognized them immediately. “This is you”—I pointed to the lanky guy at the end—“and that’s Amelia.” She smiled back at me with eyes that sparkled with intelligence. Finally, I tapped the boy in the middle, smaller than Teddy and with wildly thick eyebrows that worked on him. His smile was there but smaller, quiet, even shy. “That would be Ollie.”

“Yup. That was the last Fourth of July we spent together.” He traced the faces in the photo, smiling wistfully. “It was a real good day. We were young and happy to be together. Didn’t know what was coming next and we didn’t mind that so much back then. It was nice to be happy right then, together.”

I swallowed back the lump in my throat. “I guess a lot changed after that.”

“It sure did. Lately, I’ve been wondering what life would have been like if things had happened differently. But I’m an old mannow and I’m allowed to get all sentimental, I suppose. I’m here on borrowed time and stubbornness.” With a sigh, he gently pushed the photo away. “But you young people…You have so much life left to live and maybe learn a thing or two from the mistakes that have gone before you.”

Before I could think of a way to respond, he flipped over the second photo. I gasped and snatched it up from the table. It was also of another Fourth of July but it had been taken only two months ago. “Where did you get this?”

“Saw someone with a camera and asked them. Not a one of you was paying any attention.”

There in the photo were Oliver and Mikey, Gil and me, all laid out on that blanket, staring up at the sky. Although it was dark, the fireworks cast enough light to pick out our smiles. “I don’t have a photo of all of us together.”

“And now you do,” Teddy said.

I threw my arms around him. “Thank you.”

“It’s not a big deal, I swear,” he said.

“Yes, it is.”

“You all looked so happy there.” He shrugged. “Maybe that means something.”

“Maybe it does,” I said. It meant that, for a little while, I’d been loved and had loved. It hadn’t been like the romance novels. Not a pirate in sight. But it had been real and messy, and I would treasure every second of it.

“Don’t start crying,” Teddy said with more than a little trepidation. “I ain’t so good with crying women.”

I smiled at him. “Would you do me a favor?”

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