Page 91 of The Puck Stops Here

Because deep down, underneath the scars, she did want all of that. She just didn’t think it would happen for her. Like with her mum, men would never stick through the worst and so she chose not to hope for it. Planned for the opposite.

He leaned closer. ‘I’m asking because, and I quote, “I care”.’

‘Don’t do that.’

‘Do what?’

‘Take the piss out of me.’

‘I’m not.’

‘Liar.’

‘So it’s okay for you to say it but when I say it…’

He had her there. Dammit. The man was infuriating.

‘Seems to me, you can give it, but you can’t take it.’

‘Right. Fine. No, I don’t see love and marriage in my future. No kids. I don’t trust anyone to be in it for the long haul and I wouldn’t put a child through the same upheaval I went through.’

She waited for him to say something, anything, but nothing came. His silence worse than any spoken judgement.

‘Are you not going to say something?’

The passing streetlights cast shadows over his face, making it impossible to read.

‘What do you want me to say?’

‘I don’t know. Something. Anything.’

‘I don’t think you’ll like what I have to say.’

‘Why don’t you try me?’

‘Because we’ll only end up back where we were in the parking lot.’

She frowned. ‘I don’t know what you mean.’

‘Can’t you see, Astrid, you’re not looking for love, I don’t expect love, the future is the future, but the now… we could have so much fun in the now.’

She swallowed. Fun? Oh, how she wanted that.

Wanted it but couldn’t. Not with him.

And not because of karma, or work, she realised. But because she had a sneaking suspicion that this man had the power to make her want so much more.

‘I have an article to write.’

‘But when you don’t…?’ He sent her a look.

When I don’t, your brother is the one I’m supposed to be leaving for dust… not you.

‘I’ll be heading back to the UK.’

She looked away and prayed he’d drop it.Pleadedthat he’d drop it. Because what she really wanted to say was, yes, yes, yes!

When it was a no, no, no!

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