Page 136 of The Puck Stops Here

Oh hell, what was this? She was supposed to be doing the drilling, not his mother.

‘I’m sorry, darling. I don’t mean to put you on the spot, but those boys, they are my everything and to see them happy and settled, it would mean the world to me. Especially after all that came before.’

Her eyes glistened in the flickering light from the fire and Astrid felt her own eyes well up. She didn’t want to say the wrong thing, give false assurances or say something that she’d promised the twins she wouldn’t say, so she said nothing.

‘I know they’ve told you about their father, and thanks to the press over the years, that stuff is public knowledge anyway. But… living through it. No one can know what that’s like unless they’ve lived it too.’

‘Of course,’ Astrid whispered, wanting her to know that she got it. ‘I’m no hack, Cynthia. I’ll handle the truth with sensitivity and do my best by them. I promise you that.’

‘I believe you. I only wish they believed in themselves more. I know they fear being like their father and no matter what I say, or what they do, they struggle to break free of him.’

The woman really did know her boys…

‘If only I’d been stronger. If only I’d got away when they were young, and innocent, and they hadn’t witnessed all they had. To know that I couldn’t save them, that they had to save me.’ Her voice trailed away as she looked to the fire, shook her head. ‘It’s not right.’

‘But it wasn’t your fault,’ Astrid said, her heart aching in the face of a mother’s guilt. ‘What happened was done to you as much as to them, you were just as innocent in it all.’

She gave a slow nod. ‘Did they tell you what happened the night we left town?’

‘Blake did.’

Cynthia’s throat bobbed, her hand shaking as she stroked it over her hair. ‘If I’d had dinner ready, if I hadn’t gone home at all and kept on driving, if I’d done anything but what I did…’ She took an unsteady breath. ‘You how many times I’ve replayed it? Anything to avoid seeing the horror on Blake’s face when he realised what he’d done. To see Aiden shut down and take control. They became different overnight. Still my boys, who I adore and love, but something broke inside of them… I’d like to think that one day they’ll find someone to help them heal.’ Her tear-filled eyes lifted to Astrid. ‘Someone who’ll make them realise that they’re worth loving and that it’s safe to give it in return.’

Astrid’s throat closed over, her heart breaking in two. Did she think that washer?

‘Blake is a good man,’ his mother stressed softly.

‘I know.’

‘What happened that night, it wasn’t his fault. He was just desperate to make it stop. Desperate to protect me when I should have been protecting him.’

‘I know, Cynthia. I know.’

‘If only I’d never met their father, but then I’d never have them.’ She gave a tremulous laugh. ‘How impossible is that?’

‘But look at all you have now. A decade later and you have an amazing life, an amazing relationship with your boys who clearly adore you.’

She gave stiff nod. ‘I’d like to think the sacrifice was worth it. That in giving up their lives, their friends, their girls, they found so much more.’ She gave a soft huff. ‘Not that Blake ever had a girl that I knew of but…’

‘But Aiden did?’ It was out before Astrid could stop it, her need to find out more for Sissi overriding her promise not to press. But then Blake had already mentioned it and his mother had raised it first. Surely, it didn’t count.

‘Oh yes. Her name was Sienna. Such a pretty name for a pretty girl.’

And there it was, her proof. She didn’t need Aiden to spill his past, his brother and mother had confirmed it. And she trusted them more than Aiden himself. Because they had no reason to quash it, whereas Aiden… his silencehadto be because it still hurt.

‘I never saw them together all that much,’ his mother was saying. ‘Aiden rarely brought her to the house, and I couldn’t blame him. It wasn’t an environment for friends let alone a girlfriend. But I saw the effect she had on him. He had a glow about him, an extra sparkle that even the game couldn’t bring… to see that in him again.’

‘Do you think he loved her?’

She gave a sad smile. ‘Yes, as much as a boy can. They were young, kids really… but there’s never been anyone since. For either of them. Twenty-eight and no girl let alone a grandbaby on the horizon… until they brought you here today.’

Her eyes shone as she smiled at her and Astrid squirmed.

Oh, to genuinely be Blake’s girl…

But she’d never wanted to be anyone’s girl. She didn’twantto be someone’s girl now. Did she?

‘That makes you special.’

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