Page 46 of A Legacy of Poison and Lies

“Maybe it wasn’t the kind of love you wanted it to be. But it was enough. Take it from someone who knew him his entire life.”

The truth—the ugly truth she’d been fighting with for months and couldn’t hold onto any longer, sat on the tip of her tongue.No more lies. “I used him,” she said so quietly it was barely a whisper. Zylah turned to her friend. “I hate myself for it. But I think I…I knowI used him to get over what happened with Jesper. I just needed…” To feel in control, for one decision to be hers. And it had been that way with Raif, in the beginning. He’d made her feel comfortable, at ease. Made her feel like she could move past what happened with Jesper and move on from it.

“He wanted to help you. Whatever you felt for him was strong enough to cause you this much pain.” Zylah was only half listening to Holt’s words. “Raif was happy. So were you. Everyone could see it. I’m sorry—”

“Don’t finish that sentence. You don’t owe me an apology for anything, Holt. You lost him, too.”

He lowered his gaze, emptied the contents of his glass. “What else do you think he lied to you about?”

Zylah had known for a while Raif hid things from her. She was new to their world, to what was happening with the uprising, so she wasn’t sure she could fault him for that.

Not entirely.

“I think his reluctance to teach me anything about magic was what stung the most. You said he had a complicated relationship with his own abilities. But it felt like something else. It felt… stifling. Why would he lie to me about knowing you were training me?”

“Like I said, he was complicated. Competitive. When I asked him to meet you at the gardens, all I told him was that you could help, that you were capable. But I didn’t think…” He swallowed, but he still kept his expression blank, a look of indifference she’d come to recognise now as anything but. “My scent all over you, from the tavern, it would have been like a challenge to him at first.”

Zylah shook her head. “Deceivers.”

“He didn’t use you. And no matter what you’ve told yourself, you didn’t use him, either. Raif was flawed but, he was doing the best he could. And so were you.”

Zylah let the words sink in. She wanted to believe them. Truly. She did care for Raif deeply, but—Maybe it wasn’t the kind of love you wanted it to be. It wasn’t. Zylah had known that for a long while back in Virian. And they had been happy together, for the short time they had.

It wasn’t perfect. Raif wasn’t perfect, but neither was she. And maybe it was enough, that fleeting happiness. That it existed.

“Did you know?” she asked at last. “Did Rose tell you she’d seen Raif’s death?”

“No,” Holt said quietly beside her.

She searched his face for any hint of a lie, but all she saw was his raw honesty, and she had to look away from it.

“I know I haven’t exactly done a lot to earn your trust. But can we make a deal? No more lies from here on in.” She looked up to find him watching her still. “Only truths. I can’t live that way anymore.”

“Everyone has secrets to keep,” Holt said, and Zylah could have sworn there was an edge of sadness to his voice. But then the corner of his mouth lifted. “Truth number one—”

“You both look like you could do with a top-up.” It was Rin. Followed by her brother and his redhead, and Nye.

“Rin’s hiding,” Kej said with a gentle elbow to his sister’s ribs, his other arm hooked around the female at his side.

Zylah raised an eyebrow.

“Father’s been trying to pair me off for ages with a male from another court, but he has about as much charisma as my top button,” Rin added, knocking back the contents of her glass.

“And he’s a bit too proper for Rin, isn’t he?” the redhead beside Kej added with a giggle before pulling him away to dance.

“Proper?” Zylah asked.

“Old fashioned. Thinks touching hands in public is far too outrageous and a chaste kiss to the back of the hand is absolutely obscene,” Nye explained.

Rin rolled her eyes dramatically. “Can you imagine what he’d be like in bed? I don’t have time for all that. I can lie still on my back when I’m dead.”

“I think we can all drink to that,” Zylah said with a smile, clinking her glass against Rin’s. Her eyes met Holt’s, but before he had a chance to speak, a chilling scream tore through the celebration.

Chapter Fifteen

Themusicstopped;dancersscattered. The whine of metal against metal told Zylah more than just a handful of swords had been drawn by the guards, and instinctively she reached for the dagger she kept tucked into her wrist bracer.

A charred hand fell upon the white stone that was the only barrier between the court and the water far below, and then another, and with a chillingly animated swing a creature hauled itself over the wall.

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