Page 94 of Now and Forever

“And you took it out on poor Susto, right? And, by the way, you reminded me yet again this is your house and Flyn is your nephew. Go fuck yourself, Eric!”

Our eyes clash.

“Jude, this is your house too ...”

“No, sweetie, no. It’s your house. My house is in Spain, a place I never should’ve left.”

He yanks me close to him. “Stop going down that road, please.”

“Well then, be quiet, and don’t say another word about what happened yesterday.”

Tension. You could cut it with a knife. I think about the bike. When he finds out, he’ll really tear me apart, but I just can’t think of a way to dig myself out of this hole. We look at each other.

“I have to leave on a trip. I was going to tell you yesterday, but ... ,” my German finally says.

“You’re going on a trip?”

“Yes.”

“When?”

“Right now.”

“Where?”

“I have to go to London. I have to take care of some business, but I’ll be back the day after tomorrow.”

London. That sets me off. Amanda is in London.

“Will you be seeing Amanda?” I ask, unable to hold myself back.

Eric nods, and I slap him and pull away. My jealousy has gotten the better of me. I don’t like that bitch, and I don’t want them to be alone together. Eric pulls me close to him again.

“I know what you’re thinking, but it’s a business trip. Amanda works for me and ...”

“And you play with Amanda too? You behave badly with her on trips sometimes, and this is going to be one of those times, right?”

“Darling, no ...”

But my jealousy is terrible, and I’m not myself. “Oh great! Go have a good time with her. And don’t deny what’s going to happen, because I wasn’t born yesterday. But, hey, no worries! I’ll be waiting for you in your house when you come back.”

“Jude ...”

“What?” I say angrily.

Eric lays me down on the bed and holds my face in his hands.

“Why do you think I’m going to do anything with her? Haven’t you realized I love and desire only you?”

“But she—”

“But she nothing,” he says, cutting me off. “I have to travel for work, and she works for me. But, darling, that doesn’t mean there’s anything between us. Come with me. Pack a little suitcase and come with me. If you really don’t trust me, fine, but don’t accuse me of things I haven’t done and won’t do.”

Suddenly, I feel ridiculous. I know Eric wouldn’t lie about something like that.

“I’m sorry, I ... ,” I murmur after a deep breath.

I can’t keep talking. Eric takes my mouth and kisses me. He overwhelms me, and then I’m the one who’s wrapping my arms around him desperately. I don’t want to be angry. I hate it when we can’t communicate.

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