Page 78 of Now and Forever

“If I go blind, I won’t be a good partner.”

Shivers go down my spine. I don’t want to think about that. Please, no. But he can’t stop himself.

“I’ll just be a nuisance to you, someone who’ll put limits on your life and ...”

“Stop!” I plead.

“We have to talk about it, Jude. As much as it hurts, we must talk about it.”

I’m in despair. I have nothing to talk about with him. It doesn’t matter what happens to him. I love him, and I’ll keep on loving him. Doesn’t he realize that? I sit up on the bed, seething.

“It hurts to hear you say that. And do you know why? Because you make me feel that if something happens to me, you’ll leave me.”

“No, love,” he murmurs, pulling me toward him.

“Yes ... yes, honey,” I insist. “Am I different from you? No. If I have to consider having to leave you, you should have to consider having to leave me if I get sick.” I’m really agitated. “Oh God, I hope nothing ever happens to me because, if it does and I am forced to live without you, honestly, I wouldn’t know what to do.”

After a silence that lets me know Eric has understood what I said, I come close and kiss his forehead.

“That will never happen because ...”

I don’t let him finish. I get out of bed and open my drawer. I take out several things, including a black stocking, and then I sit astride him.

“Will you let me do something?”

“What?” he asks, surprised by the turn of events.

“Do you trust me?”

In the darkness of our room, I see him nod.

“Lift your head.”

He does as I say. Gently, I place the black stocking around his head, over his eyes, and tie a knot in the back.

“Now can you see anything at all?”

He doesn’t speak—just shakes his head. I lie on top of him.

“Although one day you may not see me, I love your mouth”—I kiss it—“I adore your nose”—I kiss it—“I adore your eyes”—I kiss them over the stocking—“and I adore your beautiful hair and, above all, the way you groan and get angry with me.”

I straddle him again and take his hands, placing them on my body.

“Even if you can’t see me one day,” I say, “your strong hands can still touch me. My breasts will continue to be excited by your touch and your penis. Oh God, your hard, amazing, unyielding, and maddening penis!” I growl, excited, as I squeeze against him. “That’s what will make me gasp, go crazy, and ask you to ‘tell me what you want.’”

The corners of his lips curve. All right! I’m getting that smile. Wanting to go on, I place the anal ring in his hands and raise it to his mouth.

“Suck it,” I murmur.

He does what I’ve asked, and then I guide his hand to my ass.

“Although one day you may not see me,” I whisper near his face, “you’ll still implant that jewel in, as you say, ‘my pretty ass.’ And you’ll do it because you like it, because I like it, and because it’s our game, darling. C’mon! Do it.”

Eric caresses my ass, and when he locates my anus, he does as I’ve asked. He tucks in the anal ring. My body receives it, and we both gasp.

Excited by what’s happening, I move my mouth closer to his ear.

“Do you like what you’ve done, honey?”

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