Page 162 of Now and Forever

I close my eyes.

From that moment on, I can’t turn on my cell phone without getting a call from Eric. Exhausted, I decide to disappear. I know him, and within hours he’ll be standing outside my door. Over the internet, I rent a little country house in Llanes for a short stay.

I call my father, but I don’t tell him where I am. I don’t trust him not to tell Eric should he call him. They get along too well. I assure him I’m fine, and he demands I call him every day so he’ll know I’m in good shape, and that I let him know when I get back to Madrid. He says we need to have a serious talk.

For a week, I walk through the pretty little town; I sleep and I think. I have to decide what I’m going to do with myself after Eric. But Eric is so present in my mind, in my heart, and in my life that I can barely think at all.

Eric is persistent.

He fills my voice mail with messages, and when he sees I’m paying him no mind, he starts sending me emails that I read at night in my room at the precious house I’ve rented.

From: Eric Zimmerman

Date: May 25, 2013, 09:17

For: Judith Flores

Subject: Forgive me

I’m worried, darling.

I was wrong. I accused you of hiding things from me when I knew about your sister and didn’t tell you. I’m an idiot. I’m going crazy. Please, call me.

I love you.

Eric

From: Eric Zimmerman

Date: May 25, 2013, 22:32

For: Judith Flores

Subject: Jude ... please

Just tell me you’re all right. Please ... baby.

I love you.

Eric

Reading his emails excites me. I know he loves me. I know. But we can’t be together. We are fire and ice. Why try it again?

From: Eric Zimmerman

Date: May 26, 2013, 07:02

For: Judith Flores

Subject: Message received

I know you’re angry with me. I deserve it. I’ve been an idiot (and an asshole besides that). I’ve behaved terribly, and I feel bad. I was counting the days to see you at the convention in Munich, and when I had you in front of me, instead of saying how much I love you, I behaved like a wild animal. I’m sorry, darling. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

I love you.

Eric

I’m happy to know he wanted to see me at the convention, but he tried to make me jealous and it worked. He didn’t account for the results, and now I’m just too angry with him.

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