Page 84 of Tell Me What You Want

Date: July 22, 2012, 8:11 a.m.

To: Eric Zimmerman

Subject: A satisfying night

So you can see I’m keeping the promise I made you, and enjoying it.

Regards,

Judith Flores

I attach a photo in which I’m in bed with Fernando and he’s kissing me. I don’t even mention the tattoo. Eric doesn’t deserve it. I want him to feel like crap. To see that without him, life still goes on. After I read the brief message a hundred times, I send it. I close my laptop and go off to sleep.

32

Monday marks the beginning of the workweek. I haven’t heard from Fernando, and I’m almost grateful. Every time I think about what I did, I’m ashamed of myself. I’m a bitch. I took advantage of his weakness because he has feelings for me, and when I got what I wanted, I left him without consideration.

I look at my email a thousand times, but Eric does not answer. His silence is his response, and that upsets me even more. I’m such an idiot.

My supervisor comes in, and she is especially annoying today. Miguel tries to get her away from me and manages to distract her in the best way he knows how. I keep playing the fool and pretending I don’t know what’s going on. Deep down, I’m grateful Miguel is keeping her busy today.

The days pass, and my tattoo barely bothers me. I have followed all of Nacho’s instructions: it’s still under the plastic shield he gave me.

There’s still no news from Eric.

My supervisor, like always, continues dumping all manner of work on my desk, and I just deal with it. On Thursday, I go out for a beer with my friends. Nacho is with us, and he asks about my tattoo. He’s the only one who knows about it. We agree that I’ll come by his shop so he can see it.

Finally, it’s Friday, and in just a few hours, I’ll be on vacation.

There’s still no news from Eric, and though I try not to think about it, it pops into my head a thousand times a day.

I can hardly believe it when I turn off my computer and say goodbye to my colleagues. I’m going to be gone from that office for almost a month, away from it all, and that invigorates me more than I can say. After I leave the office, I go straight to Nacho’s. He examines the tattoo and tells me I can remove the protective plastic.

I have a message from my sister on my answering machine when I get home. She asks if my niece can stay with me for a couple of nights. She has plans with Jesús.

At nine that evening, my wonderful niece is dropped off and takes control of the TV while my sister—between sighs and wild gesticulations—tells me about her latest sexual escapades. When her mother leaves, my niece asks me to order pizza, and we stuff ourselves while watching the absurdAdventures of SpongeBob SquarePants. At midnight, we go to bed. Luz insists on sleeping with me; charmed, I give in.

On Sunday morning, my sister shows up, happy as a clam. “I can’t wait to tell you all about it!” she says as she hurries my niece out the door. My brother-in-law is waiting for them, double parked.

After a day lazing around on the couch, I find myself staring at my suitcase when evening rolls in. Tomorrow I’ll go to Jerez to spend a few days with my father. I get into bed and contemplate Eric’s lip print on the shade. I turn off the light and decide to sleep. I really need it.

My arrival at my father’s house in Jerez is, like always, cause for much celebration in the neighborhood. Lola, the local drunk, hugs me; Pepi, from the grocery, smooches me. When Bicharrón and Lucena see me, they greet me joyfully. They all love me because they all love my father. My father’s shop here is Flores Auto Body, where he’s worked most of his life. He is well known and well respected in the community.

Later that afternoon, while I’m taking a dip in the pool, Fernando comes by. I swim toward the edge and notice he’s wearing white slacks and an orange linen shirt. He’s as handsome as ever, and those colors complement his skin tones phenomenally well. He grins. This is a good sign.

“Hey, Jerez girl.”

“Hey!”

“It’s about time you came home, you ingrate!”

With his words and easy demeanor, he lets me know right away that everything’s OK and what happened between us is in the past. That’s comforting.

“Look who has come to visit, little girl. Do you want a beer, Fernando?”

“Thanks, Manuel, I’d love one.”

My father steps away, leaving us alone. We keep looking at each other and laughing.

---