Page 81 of Tell Me What You Want

My sister bursts out laughing, and I do the same. I still can’t believe I’m talking about vibrators and “playing” with my sister. But just then, my niece strolls back into the kitchen.

“What are you guys laughing about?”

Against all expectations, my sister winks at me (I’m still laughing) and says, “About how much we like toplay!”

After an afternoon of more laughter and more exchanged confidences with my now sex-crazed sister, I turn on my laptop after the two of them leave, and I cannot believe my eyes—Eric has written!

From: Eric Zimmerman

Date: July 21, 2012, 8:31 p.m.

To: Judith Flores

Subject: Beautiful when you dance

Friends tell me they’ve seen you out and about, and it makes me happy to know you’re keeping your promise.

Regards,

Eric Zimmerman (Dickhead)

My blood boils. Knowing that he’s keeping tabs on me, that he’s read the email in which I insulted him, and didn’t answer, infuriates me. Why doesn’t he call? Why doesn’t he answer my emails?

I consider responding. I call him every name in the book. Then no ... I refuse to engage him, to give him that satisfaction, and I delete it with one swift push of a button. I turn off my computer, and fuming, I go to bed.

30

I decide to go out with my friends again on Sunday evening. We have a few beers at Asencio’s Bar and dinner at a pizzeria; and after dinner, we go drinking at Amnesia. About an hour later and still at Amnesia, Fernando appears out of nowhere. I’m quite taken aback, but he just grins.

“What are you doing here?”

“Jerez is very boring without you.”

A little freaked out by his sudden cameo, I just stare at him.

“Fernando ... I’ve never lied to you and ...”

He puts a finger to my mouth to shut me up.

“I know, but I can’t help it. C’mon ... let’s go to my hotel. We have to talk.”

I say goodbye to my friends and tell Azu I’ll be back soon. I already know what I have to do. The conversation with Fernando will be short and, surely, not very pleasant.

When we get to his hotel, the tension is high. I refuse to go up to his room. We go to the bar instead and order something to drink. We talk for an hour, we argue, and we make our feelings known. And when I think everything’s clear and I’m getting ready to leave, he grabs my arm and brings his face close to mine.

“Give me a chance, please. You just said yourself that you don’t know if you want something more. Let me show you once and for all what I can give you. You’re beautiful and I care about you. I love your determination to do whatever you want, and I want you to know that, for you, I’m willing to do whatever it takes too.”

Since I need tenderness, in the moment his words are a balm for my wounds. But I can’t stop thinking about my damned boss. When I close my eyes, Zimmerman’s possessive and intriguing gaze always appears. Without knowing why, I kiss Fernando. I kiss him with so much desire and need that I surprise myself.

Without a word, Fernando drags me to the elevator. I know what he wants. I know where he’s taking me, and I let him. We go up to his room without exchanging a word. For a few minutes, we kiss while I let his hands run all over my body. But I feel like a traitor, because I can’t stop thinking about Eric. When I sense Fernando raising my denim skirt up to my waist, I sigh and, surprising him, take his hand and make him touch me.

Excited by my effusiveness, Fernando pushes me onto the bed, climbs on top of me, and rubs himself against me. He’s cautious. It’s the way he’s always been. Sexually speaking, Fernando is measured and delicate. Eric, on the other hand, is possessive and rude.

Two different men for me, with two different ways of making love.

My heart beats mightily. I think of Eric, and that gets me excited. I’m sure if he could see what I’m doing, he’d be as or even more excited than I am. His game has become my game. Right now, though it’s Fernando who’s touching me, it’s Eric who owns me.

I discreetly pull out my cell and take a couple of pictures while we’re kissing.

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